You’ve always been a bit different right?

You’ve always been a bit different right?

 

andthosewhowere

 

Seen things others didn’t, imagined the world in ways most can’t, and dared to assume certain things are a given that everyone else just seem to deem unlikely.

 

Like that you were born for a reason, for a purpose, for something bigger than to live, exist and die.

 

But just like that music that you hear everywhere you go that no one else hears – you have a drive and reason within you that screams so loudly yet no one else can hear it.

 

I know you, because I am you.

 

Born for the push, for the blind faith and the jump.

 

You feel like all you do is jump, headfirst, into who knows what, guided only by your very soul that knows exactly what it craves and needs.

 

You don’t really know how, or why, or what makes you different. You just know you are.

 

Because when others hesitantly dance around the point, dip a toe in here and there, take one step forward then shuffle two steps back – you are already sprinting, running and leaping head first into the unknown, diving into that which terrifies you, with little or no idea how you will make this work, but just the deep faith that you will.

 

You have to.

 

There is no other way.

 

Those without that voice, that drive, that inner soul that pulses for more, they will see your crazy. Irresponsible. Unrealistic and immature.

 

They cannot hear the music.

 

But you and I, with the melody deep in our souls, driving and steering us to where we need to go, we leap and we dance and we let our crazy out because it feels so real to us.

 

The music.

It is so loud.

So beautiful.

That we can’t understand how everyone isn’t dancing?

 

Reality is what you make of it, and yours was never like anyone else’s. From a young age you knew this – you saw things in different ways. The world wasn’t crystal clear – it was always shades, shades of options, of unlimited growth.

 

And it didn’t scare you – it excited you.

 

And then you realised there are more of you out there.

 

More people like you. Like me. Us who dance to the music in our own heads.

 

Who chase dreams that others can’t see.

 

THIS is how history is made. THIS is how life is improved. THIS IS GROWTH.

 

And we are hungry for it. Day in and day out. We do not feed on food and water – we feed on pursuit. On push.

On SOUL FOOD

 

Whatever your music, whatever your dance. 

When you are there – the rest of the world slips away.

 

And maybe that’s ok. Maybe those of us who don’t truly live in the real world aren’t meant for it anyway.

 

Maybe what we see transcends – and maybe we aren’t so crazy for hearing the music, maybe it’s not hearing it that makes you crazy.

 

 

Ana sign off

Step up or Move Along

 

STEP UP OR MOVE ALONG

 

diaryandjournals

 

What makes you different?

What burns within you that separates you from the other 99%?

It’s something you’ve always known, always felt, even before you knew what it was, how to think it, how to say it, how to express it –

Even before ALL OF THAT

 

You FELT it

 

You KNOW. Deeper and surer of this than anything you have ever been sure of.

That you are here to GO BIG. Make an impact – on hundreds, thousands, millions.

To make your difference. Leave your mark. Leave a legacy that stretches further than your family, your friends, your wealth.

 

No, you seek and DEMAND a legacy that is unlike any other.

 

So when it feels impossible, when you feel lost, like you are alone, still fighting this fight.

Night after night, morning after morning, day after day, you grind, you push, you sit on the edge of falling at any moment.

A moment away from falling, always fighting tooth and nail to get through.

 

As everyone around you “grows up”, “settles down” and “gets responsible” you worry about being left behind.

And yet – you can’t worry that much.

Because you know the path of the 99% – it is all around you.

 

And you know that is NOT your path. Not your destiny. NOT how your story ends.

 

You can’t tune into the reality TV, can’t make yourself care about who married who in the latest show, can’t even make yourself turn on the TV because you know the shit you will see.

Whilst they laugh at you, pity you, always pushing, always demanding more, and ask why you can’t relax. Why you can’t stop. Why you can’t just settle the fuck down and be a real grown up.

 

And do what you think?

 

Come home and turn on the brainless box? Get some takeaway? Sit and give your brain and your life power and your creativity over to a hunk of technology designed to STOP you creating?

Stop you expanding. Stop you helping. Stop you from your destiny.

They won’t get it. They can’t.

Just like you can’t get them, every fibre of your being fights it, refuses it,

 

And even in the worst.

In the lowest.

In the moments you catch yourself thinking IS THIS ALL WORTH IT the little voice in your head can’t be ignored:

 

HELL FUCK YES

Because the alternative? May as well be death for you.

 

May as well be a swift death rather than the dragged out slow death of the 99%, watching days, weeks, months and years go by like they mean nothing….

The most confusing thing you have ever come across – an entire GENERATION of people that are HAPPY when a day flyes by so fast that you don’t realise it – NOT because they were passionate and living their dream, but because its ONE LESS DAY before the weekend!

It astounds you that someone could be happy their life is passing them by?

EXCITED for only 2 days out of 7?????!!!!!

 

The numbing of the senses through technology, and the slow death of your life purpose diminishing.

So it’s come to this.

 

Step the FUCK UP or MOVE ALONG

 

For how long? How low can you go? How much can you handle?

Well that is the true question of the 1%.

99% can’t go for long without running back to Plan B.

That’s why there is 99% of them.

 

You KNOW you are made for this. Going to succeed – on a HUGE scale that you can’t even fathom yet from your broke bank account and second hand furniture.

But you know it’s there. You just haven’t got it yet.

So keep going.

 

There is no other way for you anyway is there?

 

 

Ana sign off

The one and only reason your diet isn’t working

The one and only reason your diet isn’t working

 

confused

 

Wanna know what grinds my goat? Like really REALLY drives me insane on a daily basis because it seems so glaringly obvious that it totally baffles me why this isn’t common knowledge?

 

It’s the hundreds, no THOUSANDS of people putting in their two-bob about everyone else’s eating plans with either real science or bro science (it really doesn’t matter which, more on that later) and why they shouldn’t be eating that, but should be eating this, and how, and when, and where and after which lunar cycle….. ok maybe a bit tongue in cheek at the end there!

 

But seriously – how often have you heard any of the following?

 

“Clean eating is the only way to lose weight in a lasting way, no matter what if you put processed junk into your body it just won’t work”

 

“Grains don’t digest correctly in your body, that’s why you will always be bloated and can’t get that slim stomach you want”

 

“We aren’t DESIGNED to eat dead animal flesh, you are not just eating the macronutrients but also the physiology of the food – how good of a state do you think this flesh is in when it knows it’s about to be slaughtered?”

 

“Cutting carbs is the only way to lose weight for good”

 

“IIFYM – it doesn’t matter if it’s junk or clean food, our body doesn’t know the difference, as long as you are eating your correct macros in the end you are fine”

 

……and so it goes.

 

The amazing thing that I have no shame in admitting that I have believed and at times supported most of those claims – some when I was less educated many years ago, and some once I had been educated not only from “theory” but also practise.

 

So at the end of it, after wading through the mountains of theories, ideas, “scientifically backed” research, all of it, we are just trying to figure out that one holy grail that works for us aren’t we?

 

And THERE is the root of it.

 

There is the EXACT REASON why there are so many theories, ideas and eating plans.

 

Because usually (and I have definitely been guilty of this myself in the past) those who find success in a particular eating methodology come to believe that they HAVE found the holy grail, and then a few of their clients succeed with it and they get more support, and before you know it they are fighting tooth and nail that THIS IS the one and only way to lose weight and keep it off.

 

And you can’t deny them that it works. It works for them. And it works for many of their clients. But unfortunately YOU are not the general population – you actually ARE unique.

 

Let me put it another way –

 

Have you ever met or heard from a reasonably trustworthy source that lost weight and kept it off and is looking and feeling great from clean eating?

 

What about a vegan?

 

What about someone who eats Paleo?

 

What about someone who cuts out all dairy?

 

Or IIFYM?

 

Have you ever met a bunch of different people who eat a bunch of different ways and they are all happy and feeling good?

 

Yeah I  thought so 🙂

 

So if that person who loves IIFYM was to suddenly try Paleo do you think it would work? Would they maybe gain some weight back? Would they maybe have a binge because they feel restricted compared to what they used to do?

 

Would that then mean that Paleo doesn’t work????!!!

 

Nope. That would mean that Paleo doesn’t work FOR THEM.

 

And you know why don’t you?

 

Not because it can’t. Not because others haven’t done it. Not because it won’t work.

 

But because this person DOESN’T WANT IT TO WORK.

 

No scrap that – it’s not that they don’t even WANT IT to work – it’s that IT DOESN’T WORK FOR THEM.

 

It doesn’t make them FEEL GOOD, they can’t see themselves continuing this long term, they don’t enjoy it and it feels like PUNISHMENT.

 

And this is such a big thing – so often when we try to lose weight we set out with a punishment mindset – like “you useless piece of crap, why did you let yourself get so ft, I’m gonna put you on a diet until you are a worthwhile human being again

 

Sound familiar?

 

So of course, with that in mind, you pick an eating plan that FEELS like punishment to you.

 

If you love carbs – you will go on a low carb diet. GENIUS

 

If you have a sweet tooth you will write off dessert for the month. EVER BETTER

 

And the whole time you will tell yourself that this is what you deserve for being such an undisciplined and weak person.

 

Wow. How could you ever fail with a mindset like that? (yes – sarcarm again)

 

Since everyone else has had their two-bob here’s mine – if a trainer/coach tells you that THIS is the only way you can lose weight by following their plan, RUN don’t walk in the opposite direction.

 

EVEN IF they have a 6-pack.

 

EVEN IF they are glowing and happy.

 

EVEN IF they are genuinly trying to help you.

 

Because if their eating plan doesn’t make you feel excited, energetic and like you are about to be REWARDED rather than PUNISHED, then this straight up isn’t going to work for you.

Or it will work much like it has before – fantastic for as long as your willpower lasts to keep it up and then crash bam when you can’t take anymore and revert back to status quo.

 

I’ve had clients who eat grains, and clients who don’t. Clients who eat clean and clients who prefer an IIFYM approach. Clients who cut out dairy and clients who eat dairy three times a day.

 

 

ALL get results. ALL lose weight. Because it’s about what works for THEM – in their body and also much more importantly IN THEIR MIND.

 

The perfect diet plan for them was never about what “scientifically” works best – it’s ALWAYS about what they can commit to and feel excited and rewarded by. It’s what feels like the confident and fit person they want to be feels like – and that person doesn’t feel miserable and deprived.

 

That doesn’t mean it’s forever. I mean let’s get real, there actually IS NO UNIVERSAL RULE that if you don’t find the one perfect eating plan for you for life then you can’t live a healthy, sexy and confident life is there?

 

It’s just a theory we push onto ourselves. But why? Why be limited?

 

Sometimes I eat a particular way, and 12 months later I might feel like a change for a few months. It’s not painful for me, it’s fun, I enjoy it, and either revert to familiar ways soon enough or change it up. Yes there tends to be a couple of over riding habits that I will stick to over and over because I love them and they make me feel great, but everything else is fair game.

 

This is YOUR life – why live it restricted?

 

So the one and only reason your diet isn’t working?

 

It’s not that you are eating carbs, or not eating carbs, or eating dairy or eating grains or any other thing.

 

The one and ONLY reason your diet isn’t working is that’s it’s not right for you!

 

Not right for your body AND mind.

 

Cause your mind will over power EVERYTHING. It carries your motivation, your strength, your energy and your knowledge. You really think that all of that can be over ridden by eating Paleo just cause the fit healthy PT told you it works?

 

OF COURSE IT WORKS.

IT ALL WORKS.

 

If you want it to. So what do you want?

 

What feels like reward not punishment?

 

What feels like success not deprivation?

 

If you want some help with this please shoot me an email to ana@anabrooks.com.au , I’d love to hear your thoughts and see if I could help you.

 

anapicAna sign off

 

 

 

 

Confession – the weight came back…

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Confession – the weight came back…

 

 

Complete terror. That’s what I feel as I slowly begin to type the words before you.

Shame, guilt, and total apprehension. I’ve always been honest with you, but never to this extent. Never about how I am completely, utterly, IMPERFECT.

 

In my program The Binge Eating Break-Through, an entire section is dedicated to dealing with re-lapse, both large and small. It wasn’t until now though that I was able to understand to a whole new level why this part is so crucial in the process of breaking free of binge eating.

 

And at 9kg heavier than I was on my wedding day 10 months ago… this feels like that moment.

 

And even heavier then this weight gain, is the overwhelming feeling that I have held back. Told you so much about my journey and what I went through, but stopped short of the parts that I tried to hide even from myself.

Like the doubt. The fear. The worry about what if… constantly what if.

The imperfection is like that itchy part on the bottom of your foot. You want to ignore it, you know it’s going to take a lot of effort to get to it, and you just want it to go away. But the harder you try to forget about it, the more intense it gets. The more this fear eats you up.

 

The truth is I am still, and probably will continue to have to learn and re-learn that I am worthy. It was a belief so ingrained in me for so long that those triggers are still there, and come out of the woodwork when I’m not paying attention.

I can 100% tell you that the weekend following our wedding was the greatest weekend of my life. I felt more confident, strong, and like MYSELF than I ever had in my life. I knew exactly what I wanted, knew it was going to happen, and for the first time EVER felt like the person looking back at me in the mirror was my true self.

Losing the weight before my wedding was a story in itself (read the blog HERE), but what happened after is equal parts fascinating and soul-destroying.

 

I gained it back.

 

Over the course of the next 10 months, through a mix of lack-lustre motivation at gym, inconsistent eating habits that included takeaway becoming a much more regular occurence, and a 6 week honeymoon stint in Europe where NO exercise took place… it re-appeared.

 

Now I guess the great news here is this – at no part in this time did I binge.

Not once.

There was excessive food, sure, especially in places like Italy where my husband and I made our way through the country like pasta was going extinct… but there was no binge.

No secret gorges.

 

The problem was that I had unconsciously replaced and confused two very similar feelings of worth.

I finally felt worthy of love – unconditional love that from the moment I met Matt I knew would be mine forever.

 

And I had forgotten about MY worth. What I deserved FROM MYSELF. What I stood for and wanted, and what I was worthy of achieving/living.

 

Without realising it, my mind rejected this new me.

 

And the worst thing about going to battle with yourself is that the enemy knows ALL your strengths and weaknesses.

 

I knew exactly how to sabotage myself.

 

And so sabotage I did.

 

Because it didn’t feel real at the time – to be this person I had always dreamed of in my mind. To look stunning in that bikini on our honeymoon weekend. To turn heads. To have that confidence.

So I back tracked, just a little at first, and then more and more until it all came back.

 

And now as I write this I am terrified. Even though I HAVE TO KNOW that I am not alone, that others have gone through this, knowing that I am blatantly displaying my imperfection is so frightening.

Because it makes you feel crazy, alone, and like there is something VERY wrong with you.

But maybe… just maybe, this is what it is all about.

 

Maybe this is WHY I HAVE TO tell you this – because without it I’m only one half of the person who you can relate to. Like an amazing trainer or coach who turned their life around JUST ONCE and then never looked back – that person makes you feel inferior.

 

Like why do I still have struggles?

Why can they deal with it and never have any body image doubt ever again?

Why do I still gain some/all the weight back?

 

So I guess I’m debunking that myth right here. There is no such thing as “happily ever after”

For however long you are alive, you will always face new challenges, and some you will blitz straaight through whilst others will cause you to stumble, fall back, lose yourself a little – all so that you can find yourself again – even stronger, more experienced than ever before.

 

Anyone who claims perfection – you know that typical “before and after” type genre, where you have the horrible, down on life type photo next to the shiny, happy after – it is just crap.

 

It doesn’t show you the during. Or the AFTER the after.

And if you think being overweight/turning to food as comfort is bad – you have no idea until you have the AFTER PHOTO IN YOUR HAND and you can see the AFTER AFTER staring you in the mirror.

What does this mean for me? It means I have now possibly done the craziest thing I could ever have done. I wrote an entire blog about myself. And I put it out there.

 

There is no big summary lesson here – YET

 

There is simply a realisation that full disclosure is my only option – because anything less is just like me posting those before and after photos and waiting for you to feel worthless when you start comparing yourself.

 

It is crap – and I am here to BUILD your body image from the inside out, not categorically destroy it with superificial surface talk and motivation.

 

Let me be clear – I am still happy to own that my goal IS to return to that smoking hot body I had 10 months ago, I have never swayed from admitting that this is my goal, after admitting that “health and fitness” was just not cutting it for me. But I have a feeling there may be more to it than that this time around – but I ‘ll keep you posted.

The reality is that you will ALWAYS have constantly changing goals – life does that. The new mum has goals to get her fitness and flat tummy back after having her bub. The person recovering from hospital just wants to be able to walk around the block again. Whatever we go through, our needs and wants will fluctuate.

 

What SHOULD NOT change is your body image. Your respect and love for yourself and your body. Your feeling of worth and love regardless where you are at.

 

Wanna know what I always need to remind myself? That self hate is a terrible motivator for bettering yourself. Self love on the other hand – well….

 

Ana sign off

 

 

 

Why is fat/thin shaming not ok but fitness shaming is fine?

 

 

Why is fat/thin shaming not ok but fitness shaming is fine?

 

I’m not perfect. I have fat-shamed, thin-shamed, though never to anyone’s face and sometimes only in my own head. And if you claim that you have not then you are either a much better human being than I or a liar. Either way is fine by me. I am just me, imperfect and honest and full of opinions just like everyone else.

 

But the thing is that publicly this is not ok. If you call someone fat, you are a horrible, compassionateless loser. If you thin-shame you are clearly ignorant and/or jealous. And to some degree I can agree with this. Even if the shaming is not of the derogatory kind but just hidden by concern, it is still not ok.

 

Quiet simply, it is someone’s own choice what they do or not do with their bodies/health/exercise/diet and you are an ar$e if you judge someone for it.

 

Fair enough.

 

Except that the rebound effect of this has made the polar opposite – prioritisation of fitness and health – now prone to shaming. Fitness Shaming.

 

I heard it CONSTANTLY as a PT, and I hear it now. Everyone hanging out at Maccas trolling through Instagram feeds thinks it is their position to comment on how someone is “too muscly” “that chick looks like a guy” or the ever constant “I feel sorry for you never being able to let loose” or “I would rather enjoy my life than have a perfect body” (like its an either/or????)

 

Fitness shaming is rife in society. “omg you go to the gym like everyday, whyyy???” “oh you must not have a life” “its not good to be so obsessed with how you look”

 

Oh right – and I shouldn’t judge you that that’s the third day in a row you’re having processed junk for dinner when cooking a basic meal would take less time and sitting on the couch watching 3 hours of TV a night is somehow a completely acceptable version of “having a life” now?

 

You know what though – I don’t care.  I don’t care what you eat, how you spend your time or what you value. I eat food to nourish and heal my body, spend my time on improving my physical and spiritual being and value how I look and feel within myself. If you have different values to me, that doesn’t bother me one bit.

But there is a huge influx of people who DO care that someone is choosing to prioritise their health, wellbeing and YES THEIR PHYSICAL BODY above um…. alcohol and food induced social life, quality time on the couch and brain space for trolling fit people’s insta feeds.

 

Ok. All sarcasm aside.

 

Why are we doing this? Why are we attacking others choices in how they treat their bodies and choices they make, and most importantly – what we value vs what someone else values?

 

Someone choosing to spend night after night at home with junk food and dvd’s does not impact the choices I can make in life. Just as me choosing to get up at 4.30am to get my workout in and guzzle my 4 litres plus of water a day does not impact on anyone else’s choices for how to live their life.

 

So why the hate? Why the shame? Why the need to voice so loudly how you think someone’s physique is “too thin” “too muscly” ” too chunky” or whatever???

 

It is exactly the same as the person who posts “fat” on someone’s picture. It’s not ok, and it is just saddening to see how many people out there are fuelled by their desire to put others down.

I have my opinions – on what looks good, doesn’t look good, what is sexy – and this does NOT give me the right to voice my OPINION of what I like onto what someone else has chosen. That is THEIR choice.

 

Fat, thin, fit – somewhere and ANYWHERE in between, that is THEIR business and THEIR choice, not mine. My concern need only be with myself.

 

Now let’s be clear – this isn’t to say I don’t call people on their shit. Hell, I even need to call myself on my own shit sometimes, though my hubby usually gets to it first 🙂

I am guilty of saying “oh but….insert any genuine sounding excuse….and that’s why I’m eating crap tonight” “MHM…. except that’s what you said the last three nights… what’s REALLY going on?”

 

My husband knows when I’m not me, and when I’m needing a helping hand out of a little mental hole to get back to myself. And he is the kindest and sweetest kick up the arse I’ve ever received.

 

But the reason he and I can call me on this crap? Because we know it is not in line with my values and goals and that I am not happy in that moment. Not because “you’re too fat”. That’s opinion, and it’s not needed.

 

I fought my way through Binge Eating for years, and opinions were everywhere. The magazines told me I was huge. My friends told me I was fine. My head told me a different thing every other hour. None of these sources really CARED about me, just about voicing their opinion. And it wasn’t even their fault – I kept asking for these opinions!

 

But sometimes people don’t. Sometimes people really ARE just happy being who they choose to be, and your opinion is not a reflection of them, but one of YOU.

 

So let’s make a change shall we?

 

Next time you feel the need to voice what you think of someone’s choices, ask yourself why?

 

Why does it matter if they go to gym everyday?

Why does it matter if they don’t go out and eat crap with you each weekend?

Why does it matter if they dress nicer, take more time grooming and put a higher value on their physical appearance?

 

 

Because the truth is it shouldn’t. If it does bother you, ask yourself why – not ask them to change.

 

I’ve seen it time and again – partners afraid of losing their loved one because they will become too hot, too confident and too different to have anything in common with anymore.

Friends who are afraid of their friend suddenly getting all the attention and them feeling less worthy around them.

And COMPLETE STRANGERS convincing themselves that all fit beautiful people must be selfish, shallow jerks because hey – it justifies why you don’t want to be fit yourself right?

 

Let’s turn the questions on ourselves and why bringing someone down lifts you up – THAT’S where the real issue lies.

 

And let’s start SUPPORTING each other in our choices, whatever they may be.

 

AnaPhoto2

Ana sign off

P.S. The Binge Eating Break-Through is now available – as well as limited spots to work with me personally!

Feeling fat vs Overeating – The chicken or the egg?

 

Feeling fat vs Overeating – The chicken or the egg?

 

 chicken

 

The age old issue – what comes first? The chicken or the egg? Feeling fat and bad about yourself? Or over eating and bingeing?

 

I mean really – are you even really sure? Do you over eat because you feel bad about yourself, or do you feel bad about yourself because your overeat?

 

It’s a conundrum, and I daresay that for the majority it probably does feel like a loop without a start or end. And for the longest time whilst I was battling binge eating, it certainly felt like that to me. I felt worthless, like I had no discipline, like no matter what I did I couldn’t stick to it, like I was destined to be like this forever, and so I ate as a way to make myself feel better, just for a little while.

 

And then I would over eat, binge, lose myself in the sweet ecstasy of nothingness and yet fullness of the binge, the way the food would momentarily fill that hurt and emptiness inside me – and then I would feel horrible about myself. Horrible physically because I had consumed so much junk that I felt sick. And horrible emotionally because I had once again proved that I was worthless, not disciplined and would be destined to this forever.

 

So where did it start? And where would it end? Just WHAT exactly WAS the cause? What was the chicken, and what was the egg?

 

And more importantly – did it even matter?

At the time of course it felt like it didn’t, it was just one big loopy mess without any sense.

But from the other side, from years of health, vitality and CONFIDENCE in my body that I could never have imagine back then, I see it very differently. I see it very clearly that there was ALWAYS a start, and ALWAYS a very obvious cause and effect.

 

It was ALWAYS the feelings, the thoughts, the beliefs about who I was and what I was capable of (you know – worthless and not much) that was the beginning, and it was ALWAYS the over eating that was the effect, the PHYSICAL symptoms of my mental state.

Even when I had over eaten, it wasn’t that I was in such a horrible physical state that I beat myself up. It was because I continued to tell myself that “see, you just did it again, you really are hopeless” that fed right into the next binge.

 

And how did I come to this realisation? What part of my healing process made this so darn clear?

 

 

It was when I realised that for as long as I continued to feed this addiction, I saw myself as fat. Not like a girl with a little excess body tissue. No – I saw myself as pervasively FAT. Like to my core. That fatness was not a thing – it was simply who I was. My personality. My BEING. And therefore no matter what I did that would not change. If I lost 5kg – well then I was still fat. If 10kg dropped from my body, then I was 10kg lighter on the scale but I was still FAT.

 

In my mind and in my soul, I believed it. I knew where I fit in compared to my friends, who I was “fatter” than and “skinnier” than. I had a clear idea in my mind of what other people saw based on what I had constructed in my mind. So it didn’t matter if someone said I was looking slim, my mind immediately re-constructed that to make sense and hear “slimmer than normal, but still fat”.

In my mind I would never be that girl – with the lean limbs, shapely muscles that you don’t need to flex to see the outline of, abs that peak out just a little most days.

 

My vision of who I was and what I looked like was SO clear and sharp in my mind that I forced myself to continue with my habits. It wouldn’t make sense if I didn’t ruin a couple of days of nutritious eating with a binge – that might change the outward image of who I am in my mind.

 

So the change? For me it was a gradual one because I didn’t realise the importance of it until it had happened. Whilst I healed, trying every single thing I could read about, think of or dream of, some things worked amazingly and others fell horribly short. But as I did them all, I didn’t even notice the shift in how I viewed myself.

Until one day, I remember waking up, getting dressed and kind of just strangely realising that my tummy was really flat. My arms were really shaped. As I dressed I realised my clothes were pretty loose.

 

And for some reason that day, it hit me – I was slim. It wasn’t overnight, it was weeks and months of hard work, and the changes had been happening all along, but it didn’t hit me till then.

 

And suddenly my vision shifted – I could literally FEEL it in my mind and soul. I LOOKED at myself, as if honestly for the first time in years, and saw someone else. And it was shocking, this vision of what others must have been seeing for years but I could not. The YEARS I tormented myself when I should have been enjoying myself.

 

From that moment the chicken and the egg were very different. The way I approached my eating, my exercise, my daily habits, changed RAPIDLY. And the results came even more rapidly.

 

Because in my mind I was slim. So I ate, I exercised, I treated my body like I loved it. Like I was this healthy slim person.

 

Yeah I know – it’s not all about how you look blah blah blah. And thats fine. But I’m not here to judge – if you’re anything like me then the really honest and bare truth is that a huge part of you just wants to feel as though you look incredible. And I am so sick of this obsession at the moment with telling people that that is wrong. Nothing is wrong that is RIGHT FOR YOU.

Who are you hurting by pushing for your goals? Yeah, no one.

 

I wish I had realised this shift years ago. It shocks me how much quicker my recovery could have been if I had realised that my view of myself was the reason I kept doing what I did. But no matter – I did the journey the way I did, and because of it I can now help YOU do it much faster, easier and happier than you could imagine.

 

Because that slim girl in your group? It might already be you, except that you KNOW you’re fat.

 

Or it could be you very shortly, if it wasn’t for how sure you are that you’re fat.

 

My signature program The Binge Eating Break-Through is like nothing else – it isn’t a short e-book or long winded story of MY battle. You can read about that in my blogs if you want, but this is about YOU and YOUR way out and upwards. The information page is currently being updated, and the program will be available very soon, but there is a way for your to get the information RIGHT NOW. For the first time I am taking on just 3 ladies to work with me personally as they do this program.

 

This is NOT your cookie-cutter approach and it is NOT your cheap option promising you a 6-pack and champagne showers in 6 weeks or less. You get ME, working PERSONALLY WITH YOU, to make sure you get the exact help and support you need to make this stick. Cause lets face it – if you knew you could stop the bingeing and over eating, you could do ANY bikini program and rock it right?

 

You get one-on-one phone coaching with me, as well as unlimited email support. We nut out what you need, tweak what needs tweaking, and most importantly you are NOT alone in this, I am with you the whole way -someone who you know has BEEN THERE and totally gets how this feels. Your experience WILL be different, but I can promise you nothing you say could surprise me.

 

This is like nothing else because I don’t expect you to work on this for a decade like I did. We get you clear, focused and SUPPORTED so that you know you can do this. But like I said, because of the time and energy involved I am only opening this up to 3 people to start with me in mid-Feb. If you want to find out more and see if we are a good fit to work together, CLICK HERE and we will organise a time for a chat very soon.

 

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You’re not fat

You’re not fat.

 

 howdoyou

 

Ah…the simplest of sentences. Three words. 11 letters. Even an apostrophe in there to show just how simple it is.

And yet, so deeply DEEPLY entrenched in meaning that anyone who has ever wanted to lose weight and heard these words has unfortunately learned to inherently stop hearing them.

 

Because you know, that you aren’t really fat. I mean not in the “oh my gosh would you look at her?” kind of way.

 

When you think of why you aren’t satisfied with your body it’s much more complex then that. It’s not 5kg’s or 10kg’s or even 20. It’s the way your clothes fit. Those days when things just clump and show the rolls and those days (god bless them) when the don’t. The way every shopping trip can leave you so stressed and down because once again you had to buy the bigger size. And the way you just wish you could throw on anything you like and know it would fit nicely. The envy you feel when you see another girls effortlessly slender arms whilst you worry about wether this bra will pinch in the wrong spots and make your tuck shop arms obvious.

 

It’s not about being fat at all. It’s about so much more than that.

 

So to be excited about your progress, or want to vent your non-progress, and have someone say “yeah but you’re not fat” is at best meaningless and helping condition you to in fact see yourself as fat, and at worst a slap in the face of your inner struggle.

 

Either way, they become the three words you most hate to hear, and form part of the reason that you retreat into yourself. Keeping the struggle to yourself. The sabotage and the binges – to yourself. Because you’re not fat – so apparently your inner struggle is therefore meaningless. Selfish. Stupid. And you should just realise you’re not fat and shut up about it.

 

You’re not fat is the reason you are. The reason you FEEL so worthless, the reason food is the drug you turn to. Because you can’t hear those words again, they break you. The way they simplify and demean everything that you’re going through.

 

The real truth is you’re not fat. You have fat. You also have finernails but you’re not fingernails.

 

So hey, turns out they’re right. But those simple little words don’t actually mean what they claim to mean. When they say “you’re not fat” what they’re actually saying is “you’re attention seeking”.

 

 So how to respond? How to deal with this? Well for starters there is  good chance you’re not disclosing your struggle with losing weight to just anyone, so it’s time to cull the list of people whom you will say this to – primarily because it will make your time, efforts and emotions proceed with greater effect.

 

Once you have decided on who’s opinion and input you REALLY value in regards to this – it’s time to take a stand, and this doesn’t need to be painful, drawn out or difficult.

 

The next time the topic comes up and you hear those magical words come out – simply answer “That’s true, I guess this is really more about how I feel about the way I look”.

From there, it’s a whole different ball game. If they come back with something like “Well you’re not fat so just stop worrying about it” then I’m going to be really honest – you’re probably barking up the wrong tree if you’re hoping this will be the person that can empathise and support you.

If however they nod and ask for clarification – ie “what do you mean?” or “how do you feel?” then you’re onto a winner.

 

This opens up the opportunity to talk through your thoughts without the judgement, and a chance to get this person to see behind the surface of what is going on.

 

 

Notice how I have not suggested any recommendations for dealing with this phrase when it is said to you from someone whom you don’t want to delve deeper? That’s because this phrase will never come from someone if you haven’t instigated it in some way. If you don’t mention this topic at all, then said person will have no reason to say those words.

 

Listen up – YOU INVITE those words when you choose to speak about how you’re feeling about your body. So if you’re truly sick of those words – the power to stop them lies in you.

 

Take the time to let those that matter in so that you can build a supportive network that you know will understand when you say “I feel so fat”, and choose to no longer engage in superficial conversations with those you wouldn’t trust with the truth.

 

As always – your fate is in YOUR hands.

 

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Why SMART goals are actually the stupidest method for goal setting and the method for goal setting that actually WORKS

Why SMART goals are actually the stupidest method for goal setting and the method for goal setting that actually WORKS

 

2015

Since the beginning of time (or at least since personal development and goals etc become the most popular buzz-words around) people jumped on the S.M.A.R.T goals bandwagon and have been flogging it ever since. In school, in the fitness industry and in any workplace training situation as well as countless others – you can pretty much guarantee someone will bring up the importance of SMART goals.

 

Now here is where the problem lies. And before I launch into the problems that you may have experienced trying to set  and IMPLEMENT SMART goals, let me say that they DO have a use, as I will explain later, but it isn’t for those who intend to live a life outside of the norm. For those happy to settle into what life gives them with just a few comfortable additions here and there, those who choose fitting in over standing out, there is a place for these goals, cause truth be told – that is EXACTLY who they were invented for.

 

But what if that isn’t you? What if you are the 1% ?

 

What if mediocre and fitting in and not pushing the envelope TERRIFY you much more than the risks taken to achieve a life few even dare to dream of?

Well then my dear – you have been RIPPED OFF being told that SMART goal setting is the way that you will get there. Wasted time and effort. Feeling annoyed?

Well here comes the good news – the turnaround for someone like you once you STOP buying into the masses goal setting technique is SUPER FAST. Like immediate.

 

But hold up for just a moment – I know you’re curious, but you naturally want to know first – what the hell is actually wrong with SMART goals?

 

Lets start at S – Specific. Trust the masses to shut down all hope of growth and imagination right at the first letter. THEY say specific is good – if you don’t make your goal SUPER clear and identifiable down the last minute detail, you will fail. What the 1 percenters know is that getting laser focused on ONE SINGLE OUTCOME is a guaranteed disaster when you are talking about dreams and goals that lie outside the usual sphere. Talk to any hugely successful man or woman in their chosen field and lifestyle and they will tell you that almost EVERY success they ever had was not on their original plan. They had to come at it with the end in mind – and trust that the journey there would work itself out.

 

For example their goals of their dream body, house, lifestyle, career – they had to focus on where it was all going but not on the EXACT house, EXACT body fat percentage or EXACT job at the EXACT firm. Cause what happens when you achieve that goal? Do you suddenly feel happy and contented and that you can NOW be satisified? Of course not, that’s a total lie. And if you don’t achieve that SPECIFIC goal of say losing exactly 10kg? Then are you a failure and have to suffer and eat your way back to square one? Sounds moronic but the sad truth is that is EXACTLY what most of us do – because we are PROGRAMMED to believe that that single specific goal is all that matters and anything less is just not good enough. What a great way to ensure you set yourself up for failure and rebound. Specific is not what you need – a specific vision of what you want is what will get you there, not a pre-set and defined goal that will at best mean nothing when it is achieved and at worst set you on a cycle of fail/beat yourself up/start again.

 

Ok – Measurable. This again relates to being specific – if you set a specific goal of 10kg weight loss, then you can measure that by weighing yourself. Dah!

Let’s keep this short – what happens when your goal is tied to a number on a scale that can vary based on HUNDREDS of reasons not all of which are under your constant control? Yep – you feel like a failure. Beat yourself up. Back to square one. I will cover how a goal can (and does need to be) still measurable later, but not in this way.

 

Achievable? Realistic? Oh dear, these two letters are basically one and the same and the number one letters that grind my goat. What the hell does that even mean?

 

That somehow there are goals that exist that CANNOT be achieved? Really?

 

This kind of limited thinking is exactly what the masses eat up – because their friends and family and media dictate what is “achievable” or “realistic” for them, and there lies their limit.

“Oh you can lose 10kg but probably not more than that because you are big boned and your mum/sister/long lost pet iguana has always been a bit bigger so it’s just how you will be to. Genetics.”

 

Let me tell you something – what is REALISTIC is determined by the masses by what has already been done. As if the world and society has not been built on the history of people who have done things that OTHERS NEVER DID and that is why we now know the world is not flat, enjoy our food heated up in microwaves and “just google it” is not mumbo jumbo but a phrase that almost everyone understands.

 

The world is FULL of examples of people and goals that were NOT realistic, and in the minds of others around them were NOT achievable. But hey they did it anyway – lucky them right?

 

Not so much. What is realistic is self-determined – stop letting others tell you otherwise.

When someone says that isn’t realistic or achievable – THEY MEAN FOR THEM.

 

And of course Timed. Ah yes, Timed. Cause if 6 months from now rolls around and that scale doesn’t show 10kg then you have FAILED. Mhm. Big fat failure. Go eat your sorrows away.

I think you get the drift. So let me tell you how your GOAL SETTING should look if you actually want to achieve stuff, ACHIEVE EVEN MORE stuff than you could imagine, and have it be a cycle of constant SUCCESS without the beating yourself up and starting again bit.

 

Firstly let’s get really UNSPECIFIC. Let’s say your goal is to lose 10kg. Or it was – and now you need to upgrade that goal to something that actually works. Well what do you really want? What will losing 10kg actually give you? Cause I guarantee you it isn’t the joy of stepping onto a scale and having the numbers 10kg less come up to show your mass is now 10kg less. How do I know that? Well because if it was then you would have already thought of other ways to make that goal easier – ie cut off a limb. If that was truly absolutely all that you desired and wanted – that option WOULD have crossed your mind.

But it’s not what you want – you want something else.

 

YOU WANT WHAT 10KG LESS MEANS TO YOU.

 

And what it means can be different for everyone. For me my weight loss meant a feeling of lightness, freedom, sexiness and power. I felt I could do and be anything. I wanted to buy any clothes and know that basically anything looked good. Never worry about a roll or a lump. Eat good food effortlessly and not even desire junk. To feel like I was living up to my worth – that my outside was equal to my inside strength.

All that stuff had NOTHING to do with the scale, obviously. What a dumb goal.

But that stuff is specific – and THAT is the stuff that made me commit to the goal. Not 10kg less on a scale. Seriously – what does a piece of plastic and metal mean to me? Nothing. What does the way I feel within myself and see myself? EVERYTHING.

 

So get specific – but not about what you want – but ABOUT WHAT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT MEANS TO YOU.

 

What about measuring? Making sure your goal is realistic? (cause heaven forbid you should stretch yourself too far and fail – failure is the ultimate fear right?) No, much better to settle for something less, attainable, approved by others.

 

Those who succeed on a GRANT scale – the one percenters JUST LIKE YOU make a habit of OFTEN and CONSISTENLY setting HUGE goals that are nowhere near realistic and SCARE THE HELL out of them because they have no idea how they will achieve them.

 

See that word? HOW? Not IF.

HOW.

 

Cause guess what is no longer your enemy? Failure.

Failure is not infact a thing – it is a word that people invented to keep the masses in check – if you set a goal and you fail well…you probably didn’t set it SMART. Go back and aim a little lower. And then lower again….

 

Those who succeed know that if something doesn’t work the first time what they have is a VERY VALUABLE LESSON – one that if they learn from they can increase their chance of success next try – OR realise that they are going for the wrong goal after all and RE-DIRECT.

Oh and not timing your goals? The best thing you can do. Because guess what put a time limit does? It sets you up for two failures – one is that you can’t do it sooner than that time cause your mind is so focused on that end date. And the other is if you don’t succeed by set time then you have… that’s right… FAILED.

But you need to set a time or you won’t get a rocket up your but to do it right? Yep – so here it is – NOW.

 

Your goal is being achieved NOW.

 

The moment you decide to do it, it is already there. You are already that slim, healthy, vibrant girl who effortlessly eats to nourish and for who junk food is just an occasional indulgence. You become that person IMMEDIATELY with your mind – then the rest just follows. No you don’t physically lose the 10kg in that moment – but you do in your mind. And that means your goal will happen just as soon as it possibly can. Maybe in 6 months, or  maybe in 3, or 2. But why set a limit of having to take a whole 6 months to do something you could have done in 3?

 

Finally – get rid of all ideas about what is realistic or achievable. That is NOT a thing – it is an OPINION. So it is time to raise your opinion about what you are capable of.

The most successful among us have always set huge goals well above anything they could truly be specific or timed about. And along the way they had MANY LESSONS, and they continued. And what they reached was so far above even their loftiest goals. And definitely EONS above what anyone considered “realistic”. So they wanted to earn 1 million this year and they only earned $750,00? Boo hoo. Better than their first realistic goal of $100,000.

So they wanted to be lean enough to do a fitness model comp by the end of the year and instead they achieved their dream body by June and then decided they don’t want to compete and instead got a photo shoot and went on a dream holiday for a month to enjoy their body in a bikini? Yeah – boohoo.

 

Your goals will always change, grow, do complete u-turns and there will be a lifetime of LESSONS.

But remember it is about finding your way to the HOW and not being stuck on the IF.

 

You will find a way if you believe hard enough that you must – if you believe a failure is the end then it will be.

So time to push aside those SMART goals and doing what is “right” and start setting some LOFTY goals and start doing what you REALLY WANT.

 

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Diets start on a Monday

 

Diets start on a Monday –

but your life starts NOW.

 

 

monday

 

 

Recently (well, during the last 8 weeks or so) I’ve lost a significant amount of weight. This was not because I was unhealthy or even over weight as I had happily been a normal weight for a number of years following my recovery from binge eating – indeed this was purely, honestly and with no shame – about me wanting to now be two sizes smaller and have a truly killer body for my wedding, Melbourne summer, my honeymoon and beyond.

 

Full disclosure – it IS all about the aesthetics for me right now. Having spent the greater part of a decade trying desperately to overcome binge eating so that I could have a healthy relationship with food and not use exercise as a punishment and risk losing the love I have for training – my focus was always my health and fitness.

 

Which was all well and good – I was always fit and healthy. Sure I had a little extra pudge here and there but I was a walking talking shining example of the healthy life.

 

But again – recently – I got real honest. For the longest time I would look in the mirror and see my curves, my glowing face, my energy that just jumped off the glass – and I was disappointed. I couldn’t put my finger on it – I was incredibly fit, and my health was impeccable.

 

So why the feeling of gloom? There was no pride, no achievement, no sense of accomplishment.

 

And then a little voice spoke up, so quietly because it knew I didn’t really want to hear it, I’d told it to shut up so many times before.

 

It said ” I just want to look shit hot” Like stupidly, unneccasarily, unashamedly smokin.

 

And for the first time I listened – I  didn’t tell her to shut up, that that is so shallow, that it should just be about your health.

I actually let myself hear it aloud and felt the overwhelming sense pull of a goal that I truly desired, one that would really make me excited, fulfilled and driven.

 

And do you know what? For the first time ever, having started and stopped a “diet” maybe 100’s of times before, I made a decision to start that day.

 

ON A WEDNESDAY

!!!!!!!!

 

I know, crazy right? Everyone knows diets start on a Monday. You need the weekend to clean out (aka eat) all the junk in the house, plan your weekly meals and workouts, start “fresh”.

 

EVERYONE knows that.

Right?

 

Except that it rarely works. You finish the junk food and battle the worst cravings of your life for the first 3 days of the new diet. You feel so proud of how you didn’t cave that by the first weekend you decide you deserve a treat. Which sets of a craving, and as you’ve already used all your willpower you cave, throw away the rest of the weekend as write off and get ready to start again – ON MONDAY.

 

Cause that’ll work yeah?

 

How many times have you done this? I ‘ve done it more than I would ever want to count. The more I did it the more convinced I became that the next Monday would work.

Even if it wasn’t just a week apart, maybe you lasted two or three weeks, but inevitably the Monday curse struck again.

I get it – I’ve been there. Over and over, round and round on this merry-go-round, for years.

 

And whilst I’ve maintained and happily gone about my life for the past couple of years, with that honest realisation of what I truly wanted, and (shock horror) IT WASN’T just health and fitness – well a whole new chapter started.

 

One entitled – the real me – unapologetically honest, clear and demanding.

 

 

No – I DON’T need to lose two sizes. But I want to.

 

No – I DON’T care if you disagree with this goal – it’s mine not yours.

 

No – I AM NOT judging you because you choose to remain overweight or healthy or fit whilst I strive for something different – it is MY GOAL, not yours!

 

And NO – I do not care if it makes you uncomfortable that I am openly admitting these things – that my dear – is YOUR problem, not mine.

 

 

I know everyone loves a progress report – so in 8 weeks I’ve lost just about 6kg, and am hard at work for another 5 or so in the next 6 weeks.

Yes it’s hard sometimes, yes it means some sacrifice and yes it is absolutely worth it.

 

In fact – I would go so far as to say this so far has been more satisfying than any health/fitness goal I’ve ever had.

 

Why? Because it’s mine. Completely honest and real about what I most want, and not what I “should” want because it is what society accepts as a “good” goal.

 

And it started on a Wednesday – not on a Monday.

 

Because as soon as I decided it, I couldn’t not start it, I couldn’t not do it, because this wasn’t about what I SHOULD do, it was about what I must, what my mind simply wanted so badly I couldn’t put it off any longer.

 

And that’s what diets starting on a Monday is all about isn’t it?

 

It’s putting off that pain, that torture, the thing you are dreading – for just a few more days. It’s not something you look forward to, it’s something you desperately try to avoid. And the you wonder why this newest Monday starting diet falls flat?

 

Cause Diets start on a Monday –

but your life starts NOW.

 

This moment. And every other day you put it off before Monday is a gift you are wasting, giving up.

 

It is your life that you are wasting.

 

If your goal is not like mine, great. And if it is, great. It really doesn’t matter, what matters is that it is YOURS and it feels powerful, aligned and light to you. That it feels like where you want to be heading – not where you want to be running from.

 

I can’t speak for all goals – but if you’re wondering if my goal is worth it, if you have similar thoughts but are scared to admit them, scared that you might get there and it won’t be worth it – well, it is.

 

100%

 

So it’s time to cut the crap, Monday never comes, and when it does it brings with it baggage, guilt and dread.

If you truly want something, you need to go after it RIGHT NOW, in this moment, and every moment thereafter.

Because diets start on a Monday, but your life starts NOW.

 

Don’t waste it – think where you would be NOW if you had started your REAL goal 6 months ago?

Well RIGHT NOW you have the chance to be six months from now where you REALLY WANT to be.

 

Your move baby.

 

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Positivity – A dirty buzz word?

 

Positivity – A Dirty Buzz Word?

 

cutecat

 

Eeeek.

“Positivity”

This 21st Century buzz word has the ability to invoke powerful feeling within someone – very few people have no opinion on the matter anymore.

 

For some it brings about feelings of strength, energy, focus and determination. RESILIENCE.

 

For some of us who have been around the bend a few times it can make you want to roll your eyes or punch the next person who tells you to “stay positive”.

 

And for some of us – me included in this group now, it kind of just makes you want to vomit.

 

Not because positivity or being positive has any negative or repulsive connotations alone – but because of the way that media and social norms have the power to churn every good idea out to the masses in a tiny, fractionalised and bubbly pile of poop that everyone can jump on and smother themselves in (STINKY!)

 

Positivity had good intentions – it was meant to inspire people to be HOPEFUL, consistent, to not get dragged down and to keep on keeping on.

But like any good intention, it could not go unpunished. Or in this case – unspoiled.

 

Before you knew it you had self proclaimed “positive thinkers” out there day in day out telling anyone who would listen (and ESPECIALLY those who wouldn’t, kind of like next-gen Jehova’s witnesses) that they just need to stay positive, put on a happy face, that you only get what you put out so only put out positivity, no matter how crappy things get, JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

And I’m going to say it – it just went too far. It is no longer positivity when the person telling you about it makes you want to throw your sushi at them. It might be painful to hear – but if your positivity is making everyone else NEGATIVE, then chances are you’re not actually that good at it!

 

Want to know the best way I’ve learned to inspire positivity?

 

Be it.

 

Do it.

 

Believe it and act accordingly – all the time whilst never ever telling anyone they should try it.

 

If it’s really that great, if you’re making it look so frickin amazing then trust me – they’ll want a piece of it.

 

They will ASK you about it, and hang on every damn word that comes out of your mouth about it.

 

 

Because we all know there is a difference between learning and being taught right? You can teach and show and explain and PUSH all you want, but if the person on the other end isn’t in the mood for RECEIVING, ie LEARNING, then you’re just trying to push a square peg through a round hole. Yeah if you’re strong enough you might make it happen, but it will be painful, forced and won’t look how you wanted it to.

 

A forced smile isn’t really the same thing is it?

 

So what does positivity really mean to those who live it? To those who believe in it, do it and breathe it whilst never jamming it down anyone else’s throat?

 

It’s a little like this. Negative people start to disappear. When you try to force positivity onto others you sure as hell will attract exactly what you ask for – negative people that need a shift in attitude, but that doesn’t mean they want it. And so you keep pushing, keep trying, keep beating your head against that brick wall.

 

When you do it for you and no one else the rest just kind of takes care of itself. Slowly but surely the negative people fall away, get replaced by others, and sometimes you don’t even notice it.

 

What else? Well positivity was never about putting on a brave face and keeping on keeping on. You know – grit your teeth and force that smile and just “look on the bright side”. That’s all media hyped mumbo-jumbo designed to keep you in a state of crap.

 

Truly positive, inspired people have this “magical” ability to look at things NOT as reflections of their personal success or character as a human, but rather as lessons. Something didn’t work? Interesting – why not? What else could I try? What power do I have to change things moving forward?

 

Not “wow that was a really stupid thing to do, oh well, no point getting down, I’ll just do better next time”. NOTHING learned, trying to apply a bandaid to your wound of “I’m not good enough” and blindly continuing on. Genius!

 

Lessons and failures are not there to be ignored and pushed down with positive thoughts. They are there to help you grow – yeah call that a “positive spin” on things if you want, but in reality it’s just understanding that as humans we are designed to feel and deal with a range of emotions through both the negative and positive spectrum. Trying to push away the negative ones with forced positivity gives you no added strength or resilience for your future, if anything it makes you weaker cause you’re playing a dangerous game of “how much can I push down before I implode”.

 

Positivity sucks. There – I said it.

 

The good news? You can stop with the pretending, stop with the faking and pushing and trying to be perfect.

And you can start being real, cause that’s where success truly lies.

 

Give it a try!