5 Lessons from Angelina Jolie

 

5 Success Lessons you can learn from Angelina Jolie

 

 

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She’s spectacular. Love her or hate her, chances are you feel one way strongly. Personally for me it has always been LOVE – from a young age I was mesmerised by Angelina Jolie. Her huge eyes and lips that on most other people would look ridiculous. Her presence and acting diversity. Her ability to control the media to her whim. And most importantly her insistence on living according to HER design, no one else’s.

 

With this there are 5 huge lessons in success I’ve learned from Angelina Jolie – and here they are:

 

 

  1. Do not apologise for being yourself, especially in the public eye.

 

From her young years as a dark and moody rebel, scandals with kissing her brother etc, Angelina was always in the spotlight and not necessarily for the best reasons. But she was unapologetic.

 

She was raw, un-censored, and determined to do it HER WAY.

 

She lived with passion, didn’t hide her obsession with knives from anyone – in fact she revelled in it. And the best part? It hasn’t ruined her in any way. She grew up. She caused more scandals. And despite all of this she is now still part of arguably one of the most influential power couples in the world – juggling her acting career with her partner and children and constant work with the UN.

 

If we could all take a leaf from her book it would be this – don’t ever apologise for being yourself.

 

We all have our journey to travel, and we definitely have our own mistakes to make and learn from. If you are going to try to slip in unnoticed and just be as vanilla as you can so you don’t upset anyone –well you will only end up upsetting EVERYONE when you finally crack and explode.

I have to say – this one takes a little while for some of us. For me personally when I started out online I was a little hesitant about sharing TOO much – what if it was seen as self-obsessed or oversharing? But with time came strength and also wisdom – if I am not putting myself out there honestly and fully then how will my readers know that I am the real thing?

People can’t connect with an “image” as well as they can with the person – and especially when it comes to self-development and achieving your best life, you can’t put on a show and expect people to follow along for long.

 

No one needs another fiction story – they need the real thing.

 

So be you – warts and all. The more you are public the more this applies. By all means if you’re a celebrity then keep some parts private as your life is already so public. But for the rest of us it is just this – be you and don’t apologise for it.

 

 

  1. Follow your inner guidance even if everyone else is going to judge you for it.

 

 

Angelina Jolie has always OWNED her decisions. From a young age she knew what felt right for her and what didn’t, and she didn’t let others sway her. When she was very young she chose to become estranged from her father John Voight, even though many believed he was her ticket to fame. She chose to use her mothers name instead, and refused to work in any films he was involved in.

 

This is a situation I know many of us are familiar with – having a strong feeling about a particular family member and either wanting or not wanting them in your life. EVERYONE has an opinion on this – and unfortunately when it is so personal everyone will want to tell you what a horrible person you are being if that happens to be their opinion.

 

Angelina chose to step out on her own – despite what everyone around her thought. She knew she wanted to make a name for herself on her own, and to also separate herself from her father whom she believed had let her down too many times.

 

Yes – she eventually decided it was the right time to attempt to reconcile and hence she agreed to take on a role starring alongside him (one guess what that movie is – HINT it’s every teenage boys fantasy! Haha) And that was HER CHOICE to have him back in her life. And then she chose later to change her mind again because of further actions on his part that she didn’t approve of. (more on that in the next point)

 

But the thing is – she wasn’t afraid to be TRUE TO HERSELF. Regardless what anyone thought of her, she knew what was right.

 

I barely need to mention the other event in her life that she was judged most harshly for – and probably by some still is to this day.

Did she steal Brad? Did she not? Can anyone ever really be stolen?

Hmmm so many questions, but the point is it happened. Her and Brad fell in love and started a life together – coincidently close to the time he and Jennifer Aniston ended their marriage.

 

The world was divided – Team Ange or Team Jen. EVERYONE had an opinion and everyone had a team. All about someone that 99% of those people had never even exchanged a hello with let alone someone they could claim to “know”.

 

Through all of this she maintained her stance – that she was focused on her future with Brad, she refused to fuel the fire that was set in motion.

 

We could learn a thing or two from that – most of us never have to deal with such intense scrutiny, hate and pressure. But even if you did – it can be done. If you know you are doing the right thing by you, you can hold your head high and with confidence.

 

I mean a decade on and she is hardly still known as a homewrecker is she?

 

 

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to change yourself as much as you desire

 

 

There are a few people in history who have truly pulled off incredible transformations. And I’m not talking Kylie or Madonna trying to “re-invent” themselves only to continue making the same type of music to the same niche with the same style.

No – I’m talking people who truly conquered what it means to become a completely different person.

Angelina Jolie is one such person. From her years as a dark vixen strutting around getting all the tabloid attention, to a truly talented and respected actor, to a homewrecker – and now to a mother of a small tribe of children (half adopted) and partner to another talented actor, active UN ambassador and someone who essentially owns and can manipulate the media to her will – she has come a long way. It can be hard sometimes to think back to the rough, knife loving partner of Billy Bob when you compare her to her present persona of a collected, eloquent and charismatic woman who stands for all measures of integrity and family.

 

Why was it so effortless for her to make this transition? Why has it not been denied from her like so many others attempts at a transformation?

 

Simple – she was never afraid to be exactly who she is, and know that she can change whenever she feels like it. And we can do the same.

We can choose that today I am no longer the person I was yesterday. Wether it is that you no longer accept laziness from yourself when it comes to your goals, or you refuse to accept your partner treating you like less than you deserve.

The point is YOU decide that you are changing – and everyone else had better buckle up, cause hell or high water you are doing it anyway.

You don’t need anyone’s permission, and if they don’t really respect it yet then who gives a shit? They will have to eventually, cause you are making it happen anyway.

How long do you think Angelina Jolie had to deal with the backlash of her and Brad? For us not involved it felt like years- how long do you think it felt for her? But she continued in her new role – as a mother, UN ambassador and loving partner to Brad – until eventually everyone had run out of ammunition and accepted that she actually WAS different.

So change when you want to change, and don’t wait for the ok from anyone else.

 

 

  1. Give back as much as you receive

 

Simple but important. Angelina would not have gotten half as much success as she has had she not made the effort she has to give back. To travel the world helping the less fortunate, proving her capacity for love is more than big enough to raise a family of not only biological but also adopted children.

 

We come into this world with nothing and we will leave with nothing, so despite all that you accumulate the only thing you can take with you is your emotions.

Will they be happy ones filled with pride for all that you’ve done and changed the world in your own way? Or will they be regret and wishing you had done things differently?

I guarantee you that if you leave this world feeling like you made a difference by doing what you are passionate about – then you will feel pride. It means something different to everyone – but always give all you can, especially your passion. If it is your true life purpose you can never have enough of it, and you will never run out of desire to change the world with your craft.

 

Give so that you may receive the greatest thing in return – pride in yourself.

 

 

  1. Don’t fall for the trap of trying to be “normal” – be yourself and be damn proud.

 

 

Angelina Jolie has never been normal. She never fit a typical celebrity profile, not when she was weird and kooky and not now. If somebody had told her that she couldn’t have a loving relationship with the other greatest known actor of her time and a huge family with him, and continue both their careers, and help change the future for millions of third world children – well she wouldn’t have listened would she?

 

Cause yes-it isn’t normal. It isn’t what most celebrities do. But why should that mean it isn’t possible?

 

Just because all your friends are settled in their careers and have their progress all mapped out for the next 20 years –doesn’t mean you have to.

Just because everyone in your family was married and having kids by 30- doesn’t mean you have to.

There is no such thing as normal – only the average.

And does that sound like much fun? We talk up this idea of normal like it exists, like it makes us sane, good, worthy.

 

But all that normal is is the average of something. And who wants to be average?

 

So let it go now. Screw normal. Screw what others say you SHOULD be doing, what is realistic.

YOU get to decide your reality, and if you’re not crazy excited about it then why bother anyway?

You’re the one who is going to have to wake up every morning and life your life. So it’s your call.

Will it be the “normal” life everyone else wants for you?

Or will it be your dream life exactly the same way you want it?

 

Cause it’s totally your call. But don’t fall for that trap of trying to be normal and not push the boundaries. Screw the average – why not be the anomaly at the top of the bell curve?

 

That’s the one that always gets talked about anyway isn’t it?

The one that is so intimidating it is often taken out of the results section so as not to mess up the other “averages” right?

 

So let’s be that one – special, not normal.

 

 

 

And the biggest point I’ve learned from Angelina Jolie so far?

Just to live your life to the fullest – chase your dreams with abandon and don’t hold back.

 

Just IMAGINE what you could achieve if you did that – Can you EVEN imagine?

 

 

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Your wildest most daring fantasy

 

 

Your wildest most daring fantasy

 

 

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You think it’s a secret don’t you?

That no one knows about it.

But I do. You can’t hide it from me.

 

But how could I possibly know? Your partner doesn’t. Neither does your best friend. You haven’t even admitted it to yourself!

 

But I know. Because I get it.

 

That overwhelming feeling that something more is out there. That you have not yet achieved all that you are capable of. That what you are doing right now, who you have in your life, how you LIVE your life isn’t really what it’s all about for you.

 

And your wildest most daring fantasy that you can’t even say aloud to yourself?

 

It’s to just do it. Just stop holding back, biding time, making excuses, and to just go ahead and start making shit happen. Get out of your dead end job and truly follow your passion. Get out of your long dead romantic relationship and find your true soul mate that you deserve. The body you deserve. The lifestyle you deserve.

But it just seems like too much doesn’t it? And the confines of your current situation are kinda comfy. You can relax, have some time to watch a DVD, get your hair done, it’s really not so bad.

 

And the ultimate self-depreciating reminder line: “There are others who have it so much worse than this, I should be grateful”.

 

Damn right you should be. You should be incredibly grateful for all the amazing things you have in your life – your family, friends and possessions. A lot of people DO have a lot less.

 

But that’s not really the point. You having more is not the REASON another has less. In fact you having more would be a really good reason why another could also have more – because then you would be in a better position to give wouldn’t you?

 

And your wildest most daring fantasy that you can’t ignore anymore?

 

It’s to have it all. The dream guy (or girl!), the dream house, the dream job and the dream body. Why does everyone else seem to think that is so unrealistic? So you keep your fantasy to yourself, cause if you said it out loud you know how it would sound.

 

Stupid.

 

Selfish.

 

Immature.

 

Unrealistic.

 

 

And that’s not what life is about right? You gotta be smart, follow the path, fall in line and plod along the well-treaded trail.

So why won’t this fantasy leave you? Why do you stay awake at night imagining how different it could all be, and how unsatisfied you are with how things are?

 

The reason is because you are wired differently gorgeous. We all grow up in a shockingly similar society- the same expectations and parameters are thrown at all of us.

 

Do well at school. Go spend some more years accumulating a HECS debt. Find a job that will slowly let you pay off said HECS debt. Find a partner. Get married. Have 2.4 kids. Retire. Die

 

Everywhere we look we see people following this set up out path, never even looking around to see if there is anything else out there.

 

And that’s where you were different. Because SOMEWHERE in your life something happened – something distracted you from this path, even if just for a moment, and suddenly the world looked so different. It could have been something small and shiny that took your gaze off the working class prize for just a moment, but long enough to shake you, to intrigue you.

 

Or it could have been a lot more obvious – one specific person you met who changed your view forever because they WEREN’T like the rest. And it broke your pattern, your limited view was suddenly widened, and without even realising it you began to change.

 

You began to question EVERYTHING, annoy your friends, alienate others, but something had definitely changed.

 

You could no longer continue as before. Every time you would think about a new plan you found yourself second guessing it, asking “silly” questions like “But will this really make me happy?” and “Sure this will give me one of my goals but take me further from another – do I REALLY have to sacrifice all the time?”

And before you knew it it had settled, like a sweet little virus inside your mind. It had snuck in, taken seed and started sprouting.

 

And now? Well it’s flourishing. You can’t stop it, even if you wanted to try. But suddenly you seem to be attracting people all around you who are living your wildest most daring fantasy!

Just shoving it in your face, teasing you with it. And the more you try to go back to the same old the more it creeps back.

Until you just can’t ignore it anymore. You can’t understand how others can’t tell considering that it is almost being screamed from your head! But still, you keep your wildest most daring fantasy a secret.

 

Well the secret is out babe.

I know it.

You know it.

And it’s time to make shit happen!

 

Screw the rules, the “way things need to be done”, and every other self imposed constraint you have put on yourself.

It’s time for a reality check – this fantasy of yours of how amazing your life really could be isn’t going anywhere. You don’t need to feel guilty for wanting more. Wanting more is the first step to getting more – and once you have more you can give more. So tell those self righteous “You’re being selfish” dweebs where to go.

More in your relationships. More in your career. More in your health and body. More in your lifestyle.

 

MORE MORE MORE

 

You will not take from anyone, you will create MORE for others.

Just like that person, or that situation that changed your view has given you MORE to live for than the standard equation.

So quit hiding gorgeous. Take a deep breath and let it out – get honest and get accountable.

Claim your dreams, and claim your right to go after them and to hell with those who want to hold you back, I guarantee you they will NEVER stand by you through anything that matters.

 

Your wildest most daring fantasy IS going to happen – when you decide for it to.

When you admit to it, let it out in the open and claim it.

 

The universe rewards bravery – so step out of the shadows and show what you are truly made of.

 

Chase your dreams with unrelenting vigour, and demand no less than your absolute wildest most daring fantasy!

 

I’d love to hear about what deep dark secret fantasy you are going to unleash – post below!

 

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The Insanity Principle (Revisited) STOP being consistent!

The Insanity Principle (Revisited)

 

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This wasn’t going to be a 2-Part Blog, but my last blog really hit me that there was one more point that was so CRUCIAL to getting over this stupid habit of doing the same stuff and expecting different results! (If you missed Part 1 of the blog catch up HERE )

 

And here it is – you DO NOT have to be consistent.

 

Stick to your word. See things through to the end.

 

You know – be predictable and stable.

 

That is SUCH crap!

 

People like you to be those things because it makes them feel comfortable – not because it is better for you. Even if its people that love you telling you that you never finish what you started and that you should just commit to something long term and push through and work through and not just quit – that doesn’t mean that it’s right for you!

 

Don’t get me wrong – they may have a point. You may have a habit of just starting things without any real intention of following through on it – and that is a separate issue – and yes you probably do need to work on that as nothing worth having in life will come to you unless you believe and commit yourself to it.

 

But I think that the opposite may be the problem for you. You ALWAYS finish. You power through, you keep pushing yourself to continue and punish yourself when you stray off course.

 

You start something and slowly start to realise it wasn’t really what you wanted after all, but you KEEP on pushing through with it, only to eventually end up miserable and beating yourself up for not following through to the end.

 

But society wants you to keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving with the herd.

 

Stepping away and making a shift is scary, you might fail, or worse yet – you might find your own better path and leave the herd behind.

 

And that’s scary – for them. For your loved ones who just want you to be happy and content and ticking off the life goals in succession. Because they have been pretty ok with that existence – so they assume the same for you.

 

But we are not NOT in the same age as them. The industrial age that many of us or our parents grew up in is LONG gone.

 

It is the technology age, communication and the art of getting things the moment you want them is the name of the game.

 

Just think about this post – 20 years ago your parents would not have dreamed that they could just tap a touch-screen a few times and be given a blog instantly from someone anywhere in the world, but it isn’t even a blimp on your radar now.

 

So I get it – the times have changed.

And this means the rules of success have changed with them.

 

People no longer work 50 years in one company, just to slowly but methodically move up through the ranks a little and build up “loyalty” to the company.

 

Big companies sack hundreds of workers every other week to make cuts and think nothing of it – loyalty is long gone.

 

And you don’t need to “pay your dues” and work your way up to get to the top, there are 20 something year old CEO’s and managers in more companies than you can imagine – the days of the “put in the hours/weeks/years and you will be rewarded” is over.

 

Now it is about progression – who can progress a company the fastest and lead a team with effective communication.

 

So if you are still following the same path of yesteryear – it’s time to abandon ship and get with the times.

 

This era is changing RAPIDLY. Every day new revolutionary products emerge, faster than we can keep up.

 

And you think plodding along and just “finishing” what you started is going to get you anywhere???

 

This is the time for the BRAVE. Those who are prepared to take the leap of faith and contribute to the world and to their own lives something AMAZING.

 

And it DOESN’T mean you have to be consistent, it means you have to get educated to join this new power.

 

By all means be a woman of your word. If you commit to someone follow through on it. But therefore start being very clear and aware of the promises you make. Because you don’t want to be known as the person who just flakes on commitments whenever she feels like – but you do want people to know that you are always chasing new ideas, new dreams and new avenues, but that when you do commit to something you ALWAYS follow through. You want to be the one who gets it done!

 

This is what being CONSISTENT to YOURSELF means.

 

Only commit to that which you KNOW you must do, and to hell with the rest, you can make it up as you go along.

 

But it’s time to step out of your comfort zone and chase your real dreams – because I can guarantee you that company won’t hand you your 50 years of your life back at your retirement.

 

Claim it NOW

 

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P.S. More FREE stuff! My incredible “7 Day Game Changer E-Course” is where it’s at if you want to truly get your shit sorted and start living life on your terms – like YESTERDAY!

Just pop your email in the sign up box on the top right and Day 1 will be sent straight to your inbox 🙂

 

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My Year Without Junk Food

My Year Without Junk Food!

 

 

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You may have read my brutally honest story of my binge eating years (CLICK HERE to read it now), and I often get asked what was the first thing that started my recovery.

 

The truth is there is never ONE thing, just like a recovering addict of any type you can have a hundred “wake up” moments where you are sure that you are done for good only to fall back into old patterns once more.

 

But there was definitely a very decisive choice that I made that started my road to recovery. This was a decision that came to be known to everyone around me as my “year without junk”.

 

I started it on the 1st July 2011 to coincide with the start of the new financial year, and the idea was to cut out all the foods that were my worst triggers. This was very specific – “the big 4” (otherwise known as McDonalds, KFC, Hungry Jacks and Red Rooster), ANYTHING deep fried or cold packet potato chips, donuts and cookies of any sort. Now this may not sound like much – but it was the biggest portion of my daily food.

 

Rarely a day passed without Maccas or KFC, hot chips were constant, and each trip to any food source resulted in more cookies or donuts. Yup – I had issues. And for more info on why I was still a size 12 and not obese click the above link for my diary blog.

 

So I knew, I had to tackle the biggest problems, all at once. I always knew how much smarter the disorder can be then me sometimes – so I had to trick it.

 

This was the trick. I told myself- it is purely an exercise for one full year. Out of all the years I have left, what’s one. At the end of the year – I could go back to eating everything and anything I want (more on THAT day later!)

 

The other trick was that I could still have other food – you know, chocolate, pizza blah blah blah. Yes I still ate those things – but they weren’t my kryptonite (though they certainly featured a lot more once I said goodbye to the others!)

 

So began my year without the above foods. I felt ready, I kept repeating to myself it is just one year. I told all my friends and family so that they didn’t even bother offering it to me, and I carried on.

 

Now I wish I could tell you that this changed my life, that I lost the last 5-10kg and never looked back.

 

But this is an honest story – the truth.

 

And the truth is it was hard. I developed a love for ice cream that I had never had – purely because I couldn’t have the cookies anymore.

I craved hard. There was a night towards the 9 month mark where I panicked, drove through Maccas and ordered my old nemesis The Big Mac only to park, burst into tears and throw it out because I knew I’d come too far.

 

It wasn’t even until after that I realised what this meant.

 

I could have eaten it – no one would have seen, no one else would know.

 

But instead I went home and told my partner about nearly caving and he told me how proud he was – and it hit me – that was the first time I hadn’t wanted to hide this disorder!

 

It was always so private, no one could know about it – but this time I wanted to tell him, this disorder no longer had that “special private” place in my heart.

 

I hated it and I wanted it gone.

So did I do it?

 

Well, yes – yes I did!

 

I went a full year without those foods, and true to my word, on the start of a new financial year I bought a Big Mac and took it home. And in front of my sister and partner I bit into my first mouthful of the devil in over a year.

 

And?

 

Well… something unexpected happened. I threw up.

 

Yep.

 

I didn’t even get through more than a couple of bites, and up it came.

My entire body was now rejecting this.

 

And in that disgusting moment the last year flashed before my eyes and suddenly I remembered all the little moments that were signs I was changing and I hadn’t even realised.

 

Like those times around month 4 that I drove past KFC or Maccas and felt sick to my stomach at the stench coming from them.

 

Or how at about month 6 I had completely forgotten where these places were – having once been so AWARE of every single time I would pass one – now I suddenly had no clue where the closest one was.

 

And it all hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had been a woman of my word.

And I could now eat all the junk I want.

All the junk I WANT

And there it was – none of this junk was what I wanted anymore.

 

Not only the thought but the reality of eating this stuff made me throw up!

 

That’s not to say the occasional donut or cookie doesn’t cross my path, and I love a small handful of hot chips on occasion, but I can truly say I have not had the “fast 4” since the day the 1 year challenge started, and I don’t miss them in the slightest.

 

I’ve had friends sometimes ask me “but what do you do when there isn’t anything at home and it’s the only place that’s open?”

 

And you know – in almost 3 years that has never occurred to me. That those places even exist anymore. They are so far out of what I would ever want to eat that it’s like knowing the brothel is open at 2am when you’re hungry- yes it’s open but you would never go there to get food and it just wouldn’t occur to you. Simple as that.

 

And you all know how I feel about what we have in life – it is what we settle for and believe we deserve.

 

I believe I deserve to nourish my body with vital nutritious food and that I am worthy of the extra half hour it takes me each week to prepare some of it so I am NEVER in a situation where one of those places “is the only option”.

 

Simple. Now time for some more truth.

 

Did I still binge sometimes after that? Yes

Was it anywhere near as much? Not even close.

Do I honestly not ever miss that food? Yes – god YES!

 

My journey to recover from this took a little longer – and I slowly had to realise that there will never be such a thing as perfection.

Expecting to never over eat again because I shouldn’t because it’s a disorder was stupid.

We all over eat sometimes – at a family party, out celebrating at a restaurant,and you know what? It doesn’t mean you have a disorder.

So coping with the idea that I might occasionally have a bit more and NOT think I am diving back into my disorder was a big challenge for me.

 

But I got there.

That year changed my life, and made me aware of all that I am capable of. And all that my body naturally wants – to be loved, appreciated and nurtured.

 

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PS. Want some more info about how I could help coach you if you’ve been battling this kind of food addiction yourself? CLICK HERE 

 

 

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Where are you going?

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It’s not where you are – it’s where you are GOING!

 

Today.

 

 

In this moment.

 

 

At this precise second.

 

 

RIGHT NOW,

 

 

Doesn’t really matter

 

It’s done and every RIGHT NOW becomes your PAST almost as soon as you think of it.

 

 

So it’s not who you were yesterday, last month, last year.

 

Not even what you were doing or why.

 

Just like a moment can change EVERYTHING, a year can most certainly change your life.

 

And you can never say you have been in the same place – because you were always headed a different way.

 

It doesn’t matter if you aren’t where you wanted to be right now.

 

 

If you always told yourself that “by this age” you would have done all these things, met all these people, feel more “mature”

 

It makes no difference if things didn’t turn out the way you thought.

 

If you thought you would have found your perfect relationship by now.

 

Or that you would have been at a particular stage in your career/finances.

 

Or that you would have had kids, pets, bought your first home.

 

What matters right now, is where you are headed to from here.

 

 

From the exact position you are right now – where do you want to go?

 

What do you need to bring into your life to make you happiest?

 

Where you are right now, doesn’t matter. It can’t be undone.

 

Right now is already the past – because it was the choices and steps that you set in motion months, even maybe years prior to today that have brought about todays end result.

 

So your current situation is already done, and with every passing moment you are capable of influencing where it goes from here.

 

Changing nothing makes your future very certain – linear as you might call it.

 

 

You can easily predict the life of anyone if you can pinpoint their choices and habits. It takes less than a half hour to efficiently give them a thorough rundown of their future.

 

 

Unless you change it RIGHT NOW

 

The only thing this can’t take into account is the changes you make.

 

If you decide that just stepping along with the crowd to fit in and live the life society has planned for you is NOT ENOUGH, and that you must make your own way.

 

THEN – your whole future changes. Suddenly – it is very difficult to predict, because there is no saying where you could end up when you open up all of your options!

 

When you choose to move in a new direction, make changes and head for your real dreams rather than the conveniently pre-packaged dreams that society tries to make you buy – well then you REALLY start living a life with some meaning.

 

You think it’s not for you? That you aren’t anyone special? That you won’t really make a difference?

 

 

Well do you think if you wanted to form the backbone of the status quo then you would be here, reading this, always searching for more?

 

I can promise you that you are special hun, this really is for you and that you WILL make a difference – if you choose to.

 

Because you are already miles ahead of those who don’t even bother looking for more, who are satisfied and placated by the rules and limitations given to them, and they don’t even question it.

 

You are here, with me, questioning EVERYTHING you have ever been told HAS TO be a certain way.

 

So if you already have the head start, use it! Don’t back track to find the usual beaten path and trot into line.

 

Keep looking towards your goals, how you can achieve them.

 

Everything you have done up until now has meant something – so why not make some conscious choices about where you are going to go from here?

 

It doesn’t matter everything that you have done up until this moment, the fact is you are NOW here expanding yourself, searching for more, so choose your NEW path and jump on it!

 

Ana sign off

P.S. Want a bit of a hand on working out EXACTLY what you want and how you’re going to get it? Make sure you pop your details into the top right hand corner to get my FREE gift – the 7 Day Game-Changer E-course – designed to get you clear, focused and certain about the direction of your life – NOW, not later! 🙂

 

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First Impressions… You only get one right?

First Impressions… You only get one right?

 

 

rainbow paint drop

 

Everyone always talks about the importance of making a good first impression is so many situations – first date, interview, presentation etc

 

But how do you know what kind of impression you are making and how do you fix it if it isn’t what you are intending for?

 

Well for starters some of the best people who can help you with this is the people you already know. Don’t go too far back, because chances are you change through out the years, so your best friend from primary school PROBABLY won’t be able to shed too much light on what kind of first impression you leave now.

 

 

But those in your life who have met you in the last 12 months or so – they can. Ask them – when they first met you, what was their initial thoughts in the first 5 seconds? 5 minutes? What about you stood out most, what opinions did they form before they even had any conscious reason to?

 

If you absolutely positively cannot find anyone willing to answer a few of your questions A: you need some new people in your life, and B: move onto the next step.

 

No matter where you stand on the aura/higher power belief scale, rarely have I come across someone who denies being aware of certain people having a “presence” or lack thereof about them.

 

People who you can almost SENSE before they enter a room, and who seem to PROJECT a particular emotion and energy at you even as they are just approaching you.

 

I believe this is your aura – and you constantly alter it depending on your thoughts and actions.

 

So the first thing you want to be aware of is how you are perceived even before you are perceived.

 

How do you influence this?

 

It comes right down to the basics – your internal dialogue. You need to be in command and control of your thoughts and what you pay attention to versus what you block out.

 

One of the things people love most about someone they first meet is themselves

 

Yep – nothing to do with you – they will remember how you made them feel about themselves more than anything else.

 

We are humans, and thus emotion driven. Yes we can learn to work with and around emotions, but a first impression will always be in this range of memory.

 

So before you are even in this persons line of sight, you need to command your attention and focus to send them exactly the signals they want to feel.

 

This involves the following:

 

•        Start with your body – lift your torso, pull your shoulders back and raise your chin slightly, open your eyes and smile with your mind. Stride purposefully and confidently with an air of elegance towards your greeter – maintain eye contact to make sure they feel important and that you are their sole focus.

 

•       The way to ensure this purposeful stride is to alter your thought pattern – run through their name repeatedly and rehearse your opening 2 lines until they are effortless. Your opening line should ALWAYS involve the persons name – people love hearing their own name.

 

•        As you approach have your physical greeting pre-prepared to avoid awkwardness and above all RELAX your body, you’re not fooling anyone with that frozen smile and jerky handshake. SMOOTH and FLOWING is what you’re after. Obviously the physical greeting will alter based on the situation – if it is business then make sure you have rehearsed and mastered which style of handshake you will go for – and then make it clear that this is the expected greeting as you approach to ensure no confusion by lifting and extending your hand towards them BEFORE you reach your greeter.

 

•        Finally – within those first few seconds during/after the handshake will be your chance for your pre-prepared greeting and voice to win them over. This is why it is pre-prepared – so that you can rehearse the tone/fluctuations/volume beforehand. No point pulling off a confident entry only to spoil it with your whispered greeting or to sound like a crazy person when you start belting out a hello!

 

 

So there you have it – your first impression. It begins the moment you are in their view, escalates as you approach, and ultimately the crux of the greeting and their perception is formed at the moment of physical greeting and verbal greeting. Nail this 10-60 second time frame and the rest will be much easier.

 

The key here is to be CONSISTENT. It is great to pull off the best approach but if it doesn’t follow with a matched greeting then you will simply leave your greeter confused and unsure – not the perception you are after. Whatever it is you choose – be consistent.

 

And remember babe, this consistency starts from your thoughts which become your presence on the world. There is no point taking all the above points on board except the part about commanding your thoughts to support you or you will just come off as arrogant – there is a very fine line between arrogant and confident and it is defined in what is motivating it.

 

If you don’t feel confident or that you have something to offer this person (be it love/friendship wise or business wise) then they will quickly perceive you as just arrogant as your actions are not alligned to your presence and impact on the situation.

 

Most importantly: remember it is NOT about you. It is about how YOU make them feel.

 

So stop worrying about your fat roll or your hair or your suit not being expensive enough – they haven’t even met you yet! They don’t care about your little issues.

 

What they care about is how YOU feel about THEM. So make it clear – be confident and genuine, say their name, LISTEN, and make sure they know and FEEL that during this entire encounter THEY are your sole focus.

 

Trust me – that is the feeling you want to leave them with after a first impression, because there is nothing more valuable to a person than someone who makes them feel better about themselves!

 

Ana sign off

You’ll SEE it when you BELIEVE it

youllseeitwhenyoubelieveit

You’ll SEE it when you BELIEVE it

 

 

Isn’t it meant to be the other way around?

 

Trying to convince someone of something and you have to just sigh and say you’ll believe me when you see it?

 

Yes, when dealing with limited people.

 

But for every situation that you have had to convince someone that they need to believe you about something, when that situation comes around and they can see it – the truth is that the situation only came to be because you FIRST believed it.

 

Phew! Are you dizzy from the circles yet? 🙂

 

It is all intertwined and interconnected, but nothing has ever existed before someone believed in it – even if they weren’t sure what “it” is yet.

 

This is where it gets so powerful for you gorgeous, your ability to create and build your life the way you want it, simply based on what you can imagine.

 

The concept of “ask believe receive” and the whole Secret philosophy is an interesting one to wrap your head around, but the concept of having to believe in something before you have proof of it is not new.

 

We’ve been doing it for centuries!

 

It is why people believe in religion, in God, in the higher power.

 

It’s not because we have all seen proof of it and then decided to jump on board, most of the time it is because we chose to BELIEVE first, and suddenly became receptive and open to all the proof.

 

So it’s kind of like a short cut to a better life isn’t it?

 

You can spend years and years searching for the proof to support whatever your theory is

 

OR

 

You can choose to believe it first, and then speed up the timeline it takes to find all the supporting evidence because you’ve already aligned the universe with your cause, and therefore opened up all the channels available to you to discover what you need.

 

Short cuts are great

 

So that’s all well and good for religion, but how does it actually work for you? For your dream life and goals and to finally get to where you want to be?

 

Well it simply means that by working towards it all without the belief that it will all happen, you are constantly setting up obstacles for yourself.

 

Your thoughts will still be filled with “buts”.

 

Your mind will not be focused purely on success, but rather on analysis.

 

And wow does analysis waste a LOT of time.

 

You don’t need that.

 

You need results.

 

Like, YESTERDAY.

 

And that’s where belief comes in.

 

If you choose to believe in your goal, in achieving it, in finding a way to make it happen NO MATTER WHAT,

 

The belief speeds up that process ten-fold.

 

Suddenly problems are effortless to solve, hiccups along the way don’t even phase you, and things that used to make you doubt your ability to keep going are just fuel for the fire to keep going.

 

Because your belief that no matter what, you will get there, overpowers everything.

 

And it’s no longer just you carrying the goals through – the whole universe is supporting you, helping you, guiding you when you get a little lost.

 

You now have the infinite resources available at your disposal.

 

Any chance you might get to your goals faster and easier this way?

 

Any chance you might actually ENJOY the entire process, even the crappy bits, if it all felt natural and progressive?

 

Yeah, I thought so.

 

And here is the tough part.

 

But why should I Ana?

 

Why should I believe in this?

 

What proof do I have that this mumbo-jumbo of yours works?

 

AHA

 

And there you come to the crux of the problem, the forever constant loop between seeing and believing, believing and seeing…. it goes whichever way you choose.

 

If you choose that you must see first, then prepare yourself for the long and analytic journey to your goals – you might get there, it’s possible.

 

Or you can choose to jump in and believe first – give your dreams complete focus and unrelenting belief, and watch how fast the resources you need fly at you.

 

That’s the cost and pay off of going either way.

 

Your move.

 

 

Master your Mind – Transform your Life

 

Passion and Power – Ana

AnaPhoto2

My Motto

My Motto

 

 

I should probably begin by clarifying that I in fact have another life motto that is very dear and personal to me, and as with most motto’s to do with personal development they tend to be a little intertwined.

 

And as I’m sure you have realised I have many in depth beliefs that facilitate my ability to achieve all the things I want in life, some that I’ve worked out over time and some that I’ve grown to learn through countless hours listening/reading/watching others.

 

But there is one that resonates so DEEPLY with me, because it isn’t one that I have heard before, and it is one that came to me completely out of the blue.

 

The back story first – a lesson that my mentor gave to me was to get really clear on what you want in life, and to assess whether it is truly what you want by asking yourself “Will you ever stop trying to achieve this?

 

In other words, if you didn’t know how to do it, if you failed over and over, would you pack up and move onto something else, or would you just keep plugging away at it until you made it happen?

 

As soon as I realised that my dream life wasn’t negotiable – that there was no amount of failure that could make me want to stop pushing my way through, that is when this quote came to me, and it is now one of my most resounding phrases that I tell myself everyday.

 

“I would rather be a failure a thousand times over, than a quitter just once”

 

Now this doesn’t need to and it doesn’t apply to everything – but it certainly does to achieving my business and life goals. There is NOTHING in the world that could make me want to stop trying this, stop pushing, stop helping women to untangle all of society’s shit and free themselves.

 

To just be me.

 

No matter what that involves or who that pisses off in the process. As long as my intent is purely to inspire and help, then the people who get annoyed at others who want to improve are probably not worth a single thought anyway.

 

But if you have truly found your passion, your drive, that thing that makes you wake up every morning so excited – then why in the world would you ever quit?

 

Because the truth is that it may take 100 tries, it may take 1000, but it may be that 1002nd try that finally breaks through, and it is all worth it.

 

This way you get a hundred or a thousand chances to get it right, but if you quit?

 

Well that’s just once.

 

You don’t get another go.

 

You could have been one try away from your goal and you would never know… because once you quit that’s it.

 

You’re done.

 

No going back.

 

And then what? You settle for your mediocre goal?

 

Your Plan B life with your Plan B passion and your Plan B lifestyle?

 

When there is a chance you could have had your Plan A in just one more try?

 

This is completely aside from the insanity principal which I will cover in a future blog (repeating the same action and expecting a different result) – this is about realising that if this is truly your dream, your CORE reason for being put on this earth, quitting that is just not an option.

 

Because the pursuit of this dream – that will be the happiest time of your life.

 

And the idea of quitting on it, of just giving up and letting go – it will destroy your soul.

 

THAT is how you know you have found “your thing”.

 

Because once you have found it – you CAN’T let go.

 

So it comes down to this – quitter or failure?

 

I will happily take failure ANYDAY, because all failures are just lessons and opportunities in disguise, all CLUES to what the true path is.

 

But a quitter – well there is no lesson learnt there. You just agree to settle for less than what you truly want.

 

And you gorgeous – you are better than that.

 

You are not broken, you are not a shadow.

 

You are bright and sparkly and shining in the glow of your passion!

 

NO amount of failure can diminish that glow from your true purpose.

 

“I would rather be a failure a thousand times over, than a quitter just once”

 

 

 

Master your Mind – Transform your Life

 

Passion and Power – Ana

 

Dream Boards

daytimeviewDream Boards 

 

 

If you are not sure what a DreamBoard actually is – this is going to make it very simple for you gorgeous.

 

A Dream Board can be physical or digital (or both), and is essentially a way of manifesting what you want (all your dreams and goals) into your life. The way it works is the way the universe works – that which you focus on, put your thoughts into and concentrate on most is what you will attract into your life.

 

So you can make a “hands on” DreamBoard yourself by cutting out pictures/words/phrases from magazines or other material and physically pasting it onto a board. This is an easy way to make a giant board if you want, which you can almost use as a wall mural! You can of course just buy smaller paper and create it on that.

 

The digital Dream Board (which can sometimes also be printed out to put on your fridge or back of your toilet etc) can be done on some free online websites (which I haven’t mastered yet) or simply by cutting and pasting images/words into a Word file and going from there.

 

Whatever you choose, it is likely you will quickly come up with a few things you definitely want on the DreamBoard and then get stuck for how to fill up the rest!

 

So without further ado, here is my guide for what to include on your DreamBoard.

 

Physical wants: This can be so easy to start with, and then you may need to dig a little deeper. Think about all the things you are surrounded by daily and imagine what things you would really love to have in your life. Ideas can be furniture, gadgets and technology items, particular brand clothes/bags/shoes, beauty products, cars. The point is this is all about PHYSICAL items that you can touch or hold – experiences come next. This is all about HAVE – what do you want to have?

 

Experiences: This is where your dream wedding, honeymoon, holiday, skuba diving etc come into it. This is about what you want to experience in your future. Really want a romantic weekend away just you and your partner? Maybe a full day spa treatment? Maybe to fly business class? This is the DO category- what do you want to do?

 

People/Pets: This gets its own category. Think about any people that you would like in your life or pets. If you already know you would love a little kitten then put it in there, or maybe you have grown apart from your close friends since school and would love to find a true best friend to continue this life journey with? Whoever it is that you are looking for, even a MENTOR, put this in your DreamBoard. This is all about WHO – who do you want in your life?

 

Financial/Career: How much money do you want? What is your ultimate career position? What values do you want fulfilled most from your job?

 

Life Motto’s: This is where words really come into it (or even some images). Pick words that resonate with your goals – for example mine at the moment are “passion” “abundance” and “love”, as they are what I want to attract most in my life.

 

Personal goals: Want a bikini body? A healthy pregnancy? Or to be one of the finalists in the next run you do? This is a very personal category.

 

And finally – who do you want to be? A loving mother? A successful businesswoman? A supportive partner?

 

Once you have answered all these questions somewhere (use a journal if you have one to just get all your ideas down), then it’s time to start finding these images.

 

My personal recommendation is making a digital one first because it is so easy to find any images you want on google and just cut and paste, and then slowly building up your hands on one when you have time as it can take a long time to find the right shape/size/picture of what it is you want.

 

And here is the MOST IMPORTANT note:

 

Be VERY careful what you ask for. Do not underestimate the power of this, because if you put a picture of a litter of cute little puppies thinking that you would love a dog, you may somehow end up with an entire litter… this isn’t a joke!

 

I have had people manifest their dream lives into existence using this technique and then wonder why it wasn’t how they imagined it – basically because they found a “close enough” picture and then spent so much time focusing and giving it strength that it came to be – exactly as in the picture instead of how they saw it originally in their minds 🙂

 

Now go get those dreams gorgeous!

 

Master your Mind – Transform your Life

 

Passion and Power – Ana

You always knew didn’t you? (that you are different)

You always knew didn’t you? (that you are different)

 

 

Even from a young age, you just knew that you weren’t like all the other kids.

 

You didn’t want to play the same as them, you didn’t just accept that adults knew better, and you weren’t really sure why doing things differently than others was so important to you.

 

Everyone else seemed to be ok just as is… doing the bare minimum to get through, making friends and having fun. And though you didn’t struggle to fit in, to bring yourself to their level just often enough so that you were accepted, you never really “got it”.

 

You wanted to grow. To try everything. To learn about the entire world and all the most successful and inspirational people in the world.

 

You didn’t care about the coolest band or the sexiest actor – you didn’t dream about going to the concert and screaming their names fanatically. Your dreams involved world leaders, self-made millionaires, and others who stood out so far from mainstream that they carved their own path.

 

So I guess you kind of just knew.

 

That you saw things differently.

 

But at that time you were kind of sure there was something wrong with you. After all – weren’t you meant to just do what everyone else did?

 

What made you so special that you could do things differently?

 

Even as you grew up, moved out of home, and began to take your first solitary steps into the real world alone, you toed the edge.

 

You asked the weird questions, talked to the strange people, and still, you were different.

 

Maybe you tried to fit in for a while, you tried to pick a “job” like everyone else, party like everyone else and look for satisfaction like everyone else.

 

But always – something inside you was calling you – to reach out for more.

 

To challenge yourself, to push yourself.

 

Just a little further, just a little more.

 

 

 

So you gave in. You let yourself flow in the direction of your heart, and suddenly things started to change.

 

Right before your eyes, your world transformed. Those who doubted you fell away like petals on a dying flower, and you barely felt their disappearance.

 

And those who you were searching for your whole life, those who supported you and grew with you were drawn to you like magnets.

 

Suddenly – and yet from such a long time in the making – you didn’t have to be anyone but you.

 

You began to see your true path for the first time. That in fact you never did need to worry about what others thought, because they rarely thought of you. They were too busy figuring out their own lives!

 

And you were finally free. To be your weird self. To say what you wanted, feel what you wanted and go in the direction that you had always wanted, which may or may not have fitted with the plans the powers that be had for you.

 

But who cares?

 

Because you can breathe now, whole and deep.

 

 

Because you are where you were meant to be all along.

 

All those years of confusion, of resistance, of wondering why you just can’t seem to follow in anyone else’s footsteps – have all fallen away.

 

Your true self was always there gorgeous, even in your darkest times when you wished and prayed and cried to be able to forget what you know, to be able to just give in and be like everyone else.

 

In your weakest moments, when you hated yourself for not being like them.

 

And when you wished for nothing more than the power to just forget all that you know, to unlearn how you see the world.

 

In all those moments, your soul was still blazing deep inside you, fueling you to push through just that little bit longer, that soon things would come together.

 

That your faith would not go unrewarded.

 

And here you are.

 

Having seen what others will never see, felt what most will never feel, and learned the true spectrum of human power – you have arrived to this exact moment.

 

It was all worth it. Every odd look, sarcastic remark, and those countless head shakes dismissing your strange ideas, they are all a thing of the past.

 

You always knew it hun, that no matter how hard you tried to just slot into the world, you just wouldn’t.

 

Because you weren’t meant to just float on through – you were meant to shine.

 

To leave your mark, to help the world in your own way.

 

You always knew.

 

You are different.

 

And there will never be another like you ever again.

 

Master your Mind – Transform your Life

 

Passion and Power – Ana