Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly

Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly

 

 

I can’t be the only person who has ever tried to manufacture a rock bottom? Your very own breakdown?


It’s all too common I guess – for the Type A, crazy action taking, pushing and grinding and DEMANDING among us to not allow ourselves anywhere rock bottom.

We are too IN CONTROL.

 

To take off to drugs, to alcohol, other forms of getting ourselves to total rock bottom status, where everything and everyone around us rallies around to intervene and what fondly becomes known as “the day it all started to turn around”

 

But for those of us who won’t ever get there, for whom the push and the drive and the relentless NEED to be more than we ever imagined we could be – well for us… we have to manufacture it.

 

And we do, Constantly. Where others can barely handle a shred of pain, any kind of failure, let down – is enough to make them falter and stumble and fall.

 

For us? Its just a warm up. It’s a teaser. A reminder that we are ALIVE. And have a desperate need to keep the burn going – just a little longer.

 

Why?

 

Because whatever drowns us… makes us want to fly.

 

That desperate moment, when the walls are caving in, and it is suffocating, each breath feels ragged and stolen, and you don’t really know if it will pass or if it will get tighter – THAT is the moment you feel more alive than ever.

 

When you are possibly moments from having it all fade away -that is when things become clearest.

 

Because that pain, that mental breakdown, the torture and the fear – all that is drowning you – is truly the reason you are living.

 

For the push. For the pain. For the progress.

 

 

It isn’t the failure that scares you, it’s the possibility of never feeling anything again.

 

That you might fall into step with the lemmings – wake up, work, watch some netflix and go to bed for the rest of your life until one day you fall asleep and don’t wake up.

 

Until one day there is nothing to drown you – you simply die of boredom.

 

That push – it is what drives you to continue. Everytime you are so close to the edge, that at any moment it could all fall apart, and maybe it even will, but in that moment you are so ALIVE, so VIBRANT, so SURE of your purpose.

 

So in flow and in the moment that nothing could feel harder and yet more natural and easy than anything else.

 

For you, for us – it is the dive into the deep, into the fear, into the unknown, that makes us light up inside. There is nothing scarier than fears unfaced. Than potential untouched.

 

And so when we start to feel stagnant? Bored?

 

We try so hard to manufacture some kind of drowing – so that we can be pushed to fly.

 

Call us drama queens, but it isn’t about the drama we create for others.

It is the ledge we push ourselves towards.

 

I KNOW you are meant for so much more. You are different. On the inside. Where the fear leads others, your desire to smash it is what shines through.

 

That’s why you are who you are. Why you push yourself beyond your comfort zones. Not when you feel brave, but EVERY. FUCKING. DAY.

 

Why you LOVE the grind, the exhaustion, the relentless push towards being even a PERCENT of all that you are truly meant for.

 

Where that failure and pain is a sign for most to retreat, try something else, take a break or just stop completely…

 

For you? It’s just the beginning. The pain you were secretly hoping for, the chance to prove that to yourself that you are different, special, and so much tougher than anything that life can throw at you.

 

Feel yourself falling? That’s just your sign that you can fly.

 

And when sometimes it doesn’t come naturally – because you are NOT a masochist – you attract love, and abundance and happiness – so when nothing suffocates you and you feel you have taken a few too many comfortable breaths?

 

Well then you dive in yourself. You push that bit harder. You bite of EVEN more than you can possibly chew.

 

And whilst most people will tell you to slow down, to not be stupid, to achieve BALANCE –

 

You know.

YOU KNOW.

Surer than you have ever been of ANYTHING

 

THIS is your balance. And no amount of chilling on the couch will fix this.

Only your passion. Your purpose.

 

And fully drowning yourself in it – THAT is the only way you will fly again.

 

 

 

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