How to stop comparing yourself to THAT girl with the perfect body

 

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to THAT Girl with the Perfect Body

 

 

It’s a crazy little game that we play with ourselves – this comparison game. We do it because we like to think we can get motivated and inspired by looking at the pictures of these drop dead gorgeous women. But the truth is all it does is make us feel worse – more helpless, because somewhere deep down we know we are NEVER going to look like that.

 

And it’s true – in the world of photo shop where every amateur with a computer can now adjust their photos, not even to MENTION the professional magazines that you are looking at and the specialised techniques they can use – the cold hard truth is that YOU WILL NEVER look like that girl in the photo.

 

Because – well – THAT GIRL IN THE PHOTO DOESN’T LOOK LIKE THE GIRL IN THE PHOTO.

 

No hint of a blemish or stretch mark, perfectly curved in the right areas, just the right amount of slender, of course no little fat roll or underarm cleavage (thank you Jen Law for that one!)… yeah even the model they have taken the photo of wouldn’t recognise herself.

 

So why do we do it? Like some sick kind of torture?

 

I used to try to force myself to join the “inspiration” bandwagon. Cutting out pictures of girls that I thought had the IDEAL BODY, making a collage, dreamboard, saving it as my screensaver…. Anything I could so that it was in my face daily – that if I just work hard enough (and stop binging….) I too can look like that.

 

But it never worked. Whilst for others it seemed to really help – for me, with my binge eating and destructive behaviour around food it just fueled my pain, my failure.

 

It reminded me what I still wasn’t.

Mainly, thin and beautiful.

 

So I’d look at these pictures after an amazing workout, full of endorphins and totally psyched to have my healthy smoothie – and I would feel inspired and excited.

But on the other side – I would see these pictures every other moment too – when I felt down, depressed, craving. And they didn’t inspire me- they taunted me and brought me down. I didn’t feel like I could do it – I felt that it was just a harsh reminder of what I would never be.

And back to the chocolate and bakery I went….

 

It got so bad that I had to find out the truth once and for all for myself- for REAL.

So I went and I MET these models. These women with the perfect body.

I talked to them, and sat with them and looked at them.

And they weren’t perfect. Their clothes didn’t magically look sprayed on and they were not devoid of a sneaky pimple or ten.

Their skin didn’t glow, there was no extra sparkle off the end of their shapely shoulders – they were just….well….normal.

 

Beautiful certainly. Glowing from confidence for sure.

 

But not any more special that at least half of my closest friends.

 

But when I had seen them in the pictures, put them up on my wall and compared myself – I was looking at two different people.

 

I was comparing their BEST shots with my EVERYDAY.

 

How did I think I was going to win???

 

They had the makeup, the hair, the stylist, the photographer, the experience, the lighting…the photo shop people!

And I had what? My Iphone camera and terrible flurescent lighting of my bedroom?

 

It hurt – realising I had got myself into this state. Believed a bunch of lies and destroyed my relationship with food because of it.

So I decided no more. So how do you do that?

How do you stop the comparison and truly see things as they are? (including your own beauty)

 

For one– throw out all your collages, hot body dreamboards, motivation posters in your bathroom, get rid of that screensaver.

All this is doing is perpetuating that realisation every day that you are not yet what you want to look like.

And that what you want to look like is someone else – what an insane concept!

 

Instead – get some motivation that SUPPORTS you with HONESTY. Find an inspiring quote that you can put up on your wall instead of the magazine picture. Fill your dreamboard with supporting quotes like “Everyday I am becoming slimmer and more confident”. Use pictures of YOURSELF – once you have some before and afters a few weeks apart as your screensavers, so you can see YOUR PROGRESS.

 

Next – make a conscious decision starting NOW to not fall into the social trap of chatting about celebrity/etc bodies as though you know them. If someone comments that so-and-so has SUCH an amazing body, don’t be tempted to look over their shoulder at the picture and lament with them. Instead say something simple and non-commital like “it certainly appears that way in the photo, what a flattering picture, etc” or even something as simple as avoiding what they said but still being part of the conversation by saying “wow – that’s an amazing top they are wearing!”.

 

It may seem small and trivial to do this but your mind is an incredible thing – the more you give in to this kind of talk the more it will find ways to support it. You need to CONSCIOUSLY make the decision that this STOPS NOW.

 

How about creating some of your own “best” shots? You don’t need to spend thousands of dollars – pick a day where you go get your hair blow-waved, do your make-up like you were having a night out, give yourself a tan etc leading up to the day –and have someone you know take some great pictures of you. By all means – book in for a professional shoot if you want, but if it isn’t in the budget right now then figure out a way!

 

The point is to have some amazing photos of you that you can look at and not only will it make you feel good – but it will be a beautiful reminder that EVEN YOU don’t look like that when you step out clean from a shower! And therefore – neither do the models on the magazine covers that we compare ourselves too.

 

Just because the photo is by the beach with water rushing over her legs does NOT make it real. Chances are the day was cloudy as hell, she was freezing, they had to tan her like crazy to make it look like that and between each take someone was there touching up the already perfectly placed hair and makeup.

 

Are you getting it now gorgeous? What you are looking at is not real life, it is a still shot of a portion of someone’s life where they are the centre piece of dozens or more stylists, photographers and other professionals.

 

So the comparison trap stops now – assess where you are feeding this torture and STOP. By all means be inspired and motivated by those who look amazing – but make sure what you are aspiring to isn’t just a mirage.

And if it is – then make sure you remember you can only compare when you ALSO have an entire team being paid to make you look beautiful.

 

AnaPhoto2

 

Ana sign off

 P.S. Ready to put all your body image issues behind you? Check out The Binge Eating Break-Through program – currently on a special pre-order sale!

 

 

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