Positivity – A dirty buzz word?

 

Positivity – A Dirty Buzz Word?

 

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Eeeek.

“Positivity”

This 21st Century buzz word has the ability to invoke powerful feeling within someone – very few people have no opinion on the matter anymore.

 

For some it brings about feelings of strength, energy, focus and determination. RESILIENCE.

 

For some of us who have been around the bend a few times it can make you want to roll your eyes or punch the next person who tells you to “stay positive”.

 

And for some of us – me included in this group now, it kind of just makes you want to vomit.

 

Not because positivity or being positive has any negative or repulsive connotations alone – but because of the way that media and social norms have the power to churn every good idea out to the masses in a tiny, fractionalised and bubbly pile of poop that everyone can jump on and smother themselves in (STINKY!)

 

Positivity had good intentions – it was meant to inspire people to be HOPEFUL, consistent, to not get dragged down and to keep on keeping on.

But like any good intention, it could not go unpunished. Or in this case – unspoiled.

 

Before you knew it you had self proclaimed “positive thinkers” out there day in day out telling anyone who would listen (and ESPECIALLY those who wouldn’t, kind of like next-gen Jehova’s witnesses) that they just need to stay positive, put on a happy face, that you only get what you put out so only put out positivity, no matter how crappy things get, JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

And I’m going to say it – it just went too far. It is no longer positivity when the person telling you about it makes you want to throw your sushi at them. It might be painful to hear – but if your positivity is making everyone else NEGATIVE, then chances are you’re not actually that good at it!

 

Want to know the best way I’ve learned to inspire positivity?

 

Be it.

 

Do it.

 

Believe it and act accordingly – all the time whilst never ever telling anyone they should try it.

 

If it’s really that great, if you’re making it look so frickin amazing then trust me – they’ll want a piece of it.

 

They will ASK you about it, and hang on every damn word that comes out of your mouth about it.

 

 

Because we all know there is a difference between learning and being taught right? You can teach and show and explain and PUSH all you want, but if the person on the other end isn’t in the mood for RECEIVING, ie LEARNING, then you’re just trying to push a square peg through a round hole. Yeah if you’re strong enough you might make it happen, but it will be painful, forced and won’t look how you wanted it to.

 

A forced smile isn’t really the same thing is it?

 

So what does positivity really mean to those who live it? To those who believe in it, do it and breathe it whilst never jamming it down anyone else’s throat?

 

It’s a little like this. Negative people start to disappear. When you try to force positivity onto others you sure as hell will attract exactly what you ask for – negative people that need a shift in attitude, but that doesn’t mean they want it. And so you keep pushing, keep trying, keep beating your head against that brick wall.

 

When you do it for you and no one else the rest just kind of takes care of itself. Slowly but surely the negative people fall away, get replaced by others, and sometimes you don’t even notice it.

 

What else? Well positivity was never about putting on a brave face and keeping on keeping on. You know – grit your teeth and force that smile and just “look on the bright side”. That’s all media hyped mumbo-jumbo designed to keep you in a state of crap.

 

Truly positive, inspired people have this “magical” ability to look at things NOT as reflections of their personal success or character as a human, but rather as lessons. Something didn’t work? Interesting – why not? What else could I try? What power do I have to change things moving forward?

 

Not “wow that was a really stupid thing to do, oh well, no point getting down, I’ll just do better next time”. NOTHING learned, trying to apply a bandaid to your wound of “I’m not good enough” and blindly continuing on. Genius!

 

Lessons and failures are not there to be ignored and pushed down with positive thoughts. They are there to help you grow – yeah call that a “positive spin” on things if you want, but in reality it’s just understanding that as humans we are designed to feel and deal with a range of emotions through both the negative and positive spectrum. Trying to push away the negative ones with forced positivity gives you no added strength or resilience for your future, if anything it makes you weaker cause you’re playing a dangerous game of “how much can I push down before I implode”.

 

Positivity sucks. There – I said it.

 

The good news? You can stop with the pretending, stop with the faking and pushing and trying to be perfect.

And you can start being real, cause that’s where success truly lies.

 

Give it a try!

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