Why is fat/thin shaming not ok but fitness shaming is fine?

 

 

Why is fat/thin shaming not ok but fitness shaming is fine?

 

I’m not perfect. I have fat-shamed, thin-shamed, though never to anyone’s face and sometimes only in my own head. And if you claim that you have not then you are either a much better human being than I or a liar. Either way is fine by me. I am just me, imperfect and honest and full of opinions just like everyone else.

 

But the thing is that publicly this is not ok. If you call someone fat, you are a horrible, compassionateless loser. If you thin-shame you are clearly ignorant and/or jealous. And to some degree I can agree with this. Even if the shaming is not of the derogatory kind but just hidden by concern, it is still not ok.

 

Quiet simply, it is someone’s own choice what they do or not do with their bodies/health/exercise/diet and you are an ar$e if you judge someone for it.

 

Fair enough.

 

Except that the rebound effect of this has made the polar opposite – prioritisation of fitness and health – now prone to shaming. Fitness Shaming.

 

I heard it CONSTANTLY as a PT, and I hear it now. Everyone hanging out at Maccas trolling through Instagram feeds thinks it is their position to comment on how someone is “too muscly” “that chick looks like a guy” or the ever constant “I feel sorry for you never being able to let loose” or “I would rather enjoy my life than have a perfect body” (like its an either/or????)

 

Fitness shaming is rife in society. “omg you go to the gym like everyday, whyyy???” “oh you must not have a life” “its not good to be so obsessed with how you look”

 

Oh right – and I shouldn’t judge you that that’s the third day in a row you’re having processed junk for dinner when cooking a basic meal would take less time and sitting on the couch watching 3 hours of TV a night is somehow a completely acceptable version of “having a life” now?

 

You know what though – I don’t care.  I don’t care what you eat, how you spend your time or what you value. I eat food to nourish and heal my body, spend my time on improving my physical and spiritual being and value how I look and feel within myself. If you have different values to me, that doesn’t bother me one bit.

But there is a huge influx of people who DO care that someone is choosing to prioritise their health, wellbeing and YES THEIR PHYSICAL BODY above um…. alcohol and food induced social life, quality time on the couch and brain space for trolling fit people’s insta feeds.

 

Ok. All sarcasm aside.

 

Why are we doing this? Why are we attacking others choices in how they treat their bodies and choices they make, and most importantly – what we value vs what someone else values?

 

Someone choosing to spend night after night at home with junk food and dvd’s does not impact the choices I can make in life. Just as me choosing to get up at 4.30am to get my workout in and guzzle my 4 litres plus of water a day does not impact on anyone else’s choices for how to live their life.

 

So why the hate? Why the shame? Why the need to voice so loudly how you think someone’s physique is “too thin” “too muscly” ” too chunky” or whatever???

 

It is exactly the same as the person who posts “fat” on someone’s picture. It’s not ok, and it is just saddening to see how many people out there are fuelled by their desire to put others down.

I have my opinions – on what looks good, doesn’t look good, what is sexy – and this does NOT give me the right to voice my OPINION of what I like onto what someone else has chosen. That is THEIR choice.

 

Fat, thin, fit – somewhere and ANYWHERE in between, that is THEIR business and THEIR choice, not mine. My concern need only be with myself.

 

Now let’s be clear – this isn’t to say I don’t call people on their shit. Hell, I even need to call myself on my own shit sometimes, though my hubby usually gets to it first 🙂

I am guilty of saying “oh but….insert any genuine sounding excuse….and that’s why I’m eating crap tonight” “MHM…. except that’s what you said the last three nights… what’s REALLY going on?”

 

My husband knows when I’m not me, and when I’m needing a helping hand out of a little mental hole to get back to myself. And he is the kindest and sweetest kick up the arse I’ve ever received.

 

But the reason he and I can call me on this crap? Because we know it is not in line with my values and goals and that I am not happy in that moment. Not because “you’re too fat”. That’s opinion, and it’s not needed.

 

I fought my way through Binge Eating for years, and opinions were everywhere. The magazines told me I was huge. My friends told me I was fine. My head told me a different thing every other hour. None of these sources really CARED about me, just about voicing their opinion. And it wasn’t even their fault – I kept asking for these opinions!

 

But sometimes people don’t. Sometimes people really ARE just happy being who they choose to be, and your opinion is not a reflection of them, but one of YOU.

 

So let’s make a change shall we?

 

Next time you feel the need to voice what you think of someone’s choices, ask yourself why?

 

Why does it matter if they go to gym everyday?

Why does it matter if they don’t go out and eat crap with you each weekend?

Why does it matter if they dress nicer, take more time grooming and put a higher value on their physical appearance?

 

 

Because the truth is it shouldn’t. If it does bother you, ask yourself why – not ask them to change.

 

I’ve seen it time and again – partners afraid of losing their loved one because they will become too hot, too confident and too different to have anything in common with anymore.

Friends who are afraid of their friend suddenly getting all the attention and them feeling less worthy around them.

And COMPLETE STRANGERS convincing themselves that all fit beautiful people must be selfish, shallow jerks because hey – it justifies why you don’t want to be fit yourself right?

 

Let’s turn the questions on ourselves and why bringing someone down lifts you up – THAT’S where the real issue lies.

 

And let’s start SUPPORTING each other in our choices, whatever they may be.

 

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P.S. The Binge Eating Break-Through is now available – as well as limited spots to work with me personally!

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