You vs Them – Who wins?

 

You vs Them – Who wins?

 

 

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Don’t believe what they tell you. By they I mean EVERYONE else. All the wonderful people in your life who love you to death and only want the best for you – except when it gets in the way of what THEY want or their understanding of the world.

 

They are your siblings, your parents, your lifelong best friends. You vs Them.

 

Have you ever had your mother or best friend just positively burst at the seems with excitement that you HAVE TO try this amazing new diet where you eat lemons, sugar and air for 2 weeks and drop kilos JUST LIKE THAT?

 

Yes… Slightly tongue in cheek just there babe. Of course you have. Gosh back in the day I can honestly say I was the one searching out the newest celebrity crash diet just as soon as I couldn’t handle the last one. This went on for years!

 

So who is this person? Who is the one and ONLY person in the world you should ever take advice from?

 

 

How can you trust her? How do you know she really has your best interests at heart? And what’s to say she really has the knowledge to back it up?

 

 

Well it’s you hun!

 

Who else in this world truly wants what is best for you and is really only looking out for you?

 

And I know you might think “but I always sabotage myself”, “ I don’t really do what I know is best for me….”

 

But that is just crap. Anything you do is you choosing to follow a path that in one way or another gives you some kind of satisfaction.

 

If you think “but I always cave and eat a whole block of chocolate just when I’ve eaten clean for a full week” and you think that is a sign that you sabotage yourself, I’m here to tell you that that is a sign that your “diet” isn’t working best for your body and/or lifestyle and it is trying to tell you as quickly as possible to stop it!

 

If you were truly satisfied and nourished on your eating plan, you wouldn’t be craving an entire block of chocolate.

 

And if you were truly following a clean eating plan that works for you then having a piece of chocolate here and there would not be a huge issue.

 

 

Do you see where I’m getting at?

 

 

Your body and your mind is PERFECTLY programmed to guide you in the best way it knows to keep you happy.

 

Now I know first hand how excruciatingly painful this can be when your mind is moving in the opposite way to what you think you want.

 

Like when you want to be an inspirational PT and health coach whilst secretly battling Binge Eating Disorder.

 

Yup. I know what it is like to think you are just doing everything possible to hurt yourself, to destroy yourself.

 

But you aren’t.

 

 

You are in fact doing everything you can to survive. To keep yourself going even in the face of certain failure. YOU are designed to look out for yourself, even when you disappoint yourself.

 

 

For years I hated myself – what I believed was a lack of willpower to achieve the kind of body I truly wanted, was in fact a deep need to feel the kind of strength and re-assurance that I wasn’t giving myself.

 

Food was my comfort. It gave me my serenity, my escape, an intense peace that came with knowing it would never let me down. Any hour of the day, any moment, it was there. Just waiting for me to use it whenever I needed. It was my sanctuary.

 

And sure I hated myself for it, loathed myself each time I gave in yet again to the binge. But in that moment, in that single drawn-out moment – I was free. All of the worlds expectations and demands fell away and it was just my time to be me.

 

 

Nothing could touch me then, no one could hurt me, and even I couldn’t take that moment away from me. But gosh I tried – over and over.

 

 

I told myself that I could stop, at any moment. The logical part of my brain tried desperately to kick in and tell me to stop there, don’t have another bite, just because you have stuffed up this much DOES NOT mean you need to keep going. It DOESN’T mean the whole day is now off and you may as well keep bingeing.

 

Yeah, my brain said all those things. But my soul, my heart, my inner needs were too loud and too insistent. No sense was getting through.

 

I was feeding my pain. Numbing the world with food. I was so tired, so frustrated and so desperate to keep up with all the expectations I set on myself that I had no outlet, no balance. Deep down I didn’t believe I was worthy of love or any respect unless I achieved over and beyond what anyone could expect from me.

 

And the truth is no one did. It didn’t phase them what I did, they were just used to me taking on too much. It was never about them, it was about me and my deep belief that I wasn’t good enough until….

 

 

Until I got my black belt….

 

Until I sparred nationally…..

 

Until I completed two university degrees….

Until I had the perfect body…..

Until until until……

 

 

Until never came. There was always more. And had I not figured out my way to move past this disorder, until would still not be enough. You vs Them.

 

Because who set these standards really? It was never my demanding parents, or my friends, it was always me.

 

And I was the only one able to change them and listen to myself.

 

I had tried every diet under the sun because I was searching for someone outside of me to find the solution. Like somewhere out there just one person had it all figured out, much like I believed I should, and that they held the key to my happiness.

 

 

The magic pill.

 

 

But there isn’t. Everyone actually IS different. And what works for someone else didn’t work for me. Not JUST because we are physically different, but because we are PSYCHOLOGICALLY different.

 

We are wired differently.

 

So telling one person to never eat carbs again will cause a different reaction then telling someone else. One will take it as just another thing to do, one will immediately panic.

 

How you react should tell you if this is right for you. If you have no desire to continue this way forever then there probably isn’t any point starting it now unless your desire is to yo-yo from diet to diet your whole life.

 

No one else knows what’s best for you. Not even your trainer, your nutritionist, and definitely not your well meaning friends and family.

 

 

The only one who knows what’s best for you is you gorgeous.

 

 

And that means what is best for you not only on a physical level but also mental.

 

Physically you can do anything. Mentally though – that’s what determines wether or not you will actually do it.

 

What have you discovered works for you DESPITE others telling you otherwise?

 

 

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P.S. Want to discover more about how YOU are wired and what makes you tick? Be sure to get your copy of my “Discover your Life Purpose” Audio!

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